Don't worry (because I know you were all so very concerned about what happened to me), I did not fall off the face of the planet.
It's been much too long since my last blog! My plan was to blog almost everyday, but as you can see...
"Everyday?! THAT'S PITIFUL! You barely blogged once a month, you epic fail of a blogger!!!!! ARGGG!!!!" *Stomps out of room and doesn't throw computer this time because he has recently been attending anger management classes*
Well, I can say that THAT is something I did NOT miss AT ALL.
"It's okay we didn't miss you either."
......I'm just going to ingnore you. Starting...now!
So it's Halloween!
"Oh, I like your mask! Oh wait, my bad, it's just your face."
........................
*I leave the room and go to my thinking chair nearest to the window overlooking the lucious swamp in my backyard (thankfully it's nothing at all like the swamp in The Princess Bride) and let my mind wander away from the malicious insults being hurled at me. Once I've COMPLETELY GOTTEN OVER THEM, I return calmly to my computer and resume my blog*
"You're back!"
-______-
So it is Halloween, and I'm going as "The-teenager-who-really-doesn't-give-a-flying-jedi-crap-about-dressing-up-and-is-not-so-secretly-a-world-class-super-hero." It's very original. Guaranteed that you won't find it in your local costume shop!
I won't be trick or treating, but I will be handing out candy to all the youngsters, some teenagers, and occassionally a few adults (which is extremely awkward by the way) who enjoy begging for candy at the door of strangers' houses. Including mine, no matter how much I do not want them to come....
I've been handing out candy for a few years now, and I must say I am quite experienced in this area. I've decided I'll share a few of my secret tips to handing out candy.
Eat it up:
1. If you would like to be simplistic about it, simply reach into the simple metal bowl filled with the most simple candy (like raisins), and simply grab a handful, and simply drop it into the treaters bags. It's pretty simple.
2. Or you can go the complicated way by creating a scavenger hunt by hiding the candy in various areas of your yard and creating a map for the kiddies (or creepy adults or moody teenagers). You don't even need to sit out there! Just leave a map on the front porch and a sign that says "STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM THE DOORBELL, AND FIND IT YOURSELF." You meddling kids...
3. Or you can go the extremely complicated way and leave a map for the kids to find candy. And leave no candy out. It's satisfying in many ways: No pestering children (or pedo. adults or gothic teenagers) to ring your doorbell, you save money, and it's a heck of a lot of fun to watch them searching for it. Those little rascals (goths and pedos) will never know what hit them!
Oh geez, I hear them coming...SAVE ME!
4. Always keep a bowl of spiders on hand. Just in case Emily Rose shows up and she's hungry. You should really keep this handy if you want to spare your face.
5. You can be mean about it. Hey, handing out candy gets tiring. If you feel like your done for the night, and you can't a take the multitude of annoying children and adolescent teens and eerie adults anymore then just throw it at them.
"Trick or Tre-"
"Oh would you all just SHUT UP. Here's your cavity creating sweets you filthy animals." *Throws candy at their faces*
6. Scare the hell out of 'em. If you really want to have fun, hide behind a bush or under your porch, and as they're walking by scream and jump out (wearing a mask adds to their fright), grab their candy bags and run away (still screaming). Don't give the bag back.
7. Keep your eyes peeled... You never know, someone may try to sneak into your house as you're handing out candy to their little friends. It's a good idea to have a friend of yours dress up as Voldemort and hide behind you, so if one does sneak in he'll be caught and never forget it.
Voldemort Voldemort ooo Voldy Voldemort, Voldemort!
8. Give hugs instead. Instead of candy, give hugs. Saves money and freaks people out at the same time! A win-win situation!
"Trick or tre- whoa hey, what are ya doing?"
"Come 'ere! I've got a hug for you!"
"Mommmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!" *Runs far far away*
"Ok bye...." *Turns sadly away...*
I'll stop at 8. The number of completeness. And this list, it's pretty complete. Good luck with the treaters tonight.
So this blog....hated it, loved it?
Either way, there's someone watching you from behind.
Just kidding! Mwahahaaa! Happy Halloween!
What is that mysterious ticking noise....
Oh man, they're coming....time to dust off that Voldemort costume.
Signing out of this blog like yeah.
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out
PS: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART ONE COMING OUT NOVEMBER 19TH!!!! You can bet your bottomly dollar that I'm going to the midnight premier!
That's all. Later yo.
OH wait, just kidding.
I finished The Princess Bride! It was so amazingly swunderful and I love it with my whole heart!
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