Supahh Fastttt Updattee!

Hey peeps! So I found some old posts I made way back from my first semester of college.  For some reason, I had taken them down (probably because I felt silly/idiotic) but I read them over and realized, "Eh. They're a little stupid, but what the heck!" 


I'll post them in two seconds! Just make note that they are from awhile ago, and that I no longer hold the feelings described in the posts anymore.


*Also, some new posts are in the making! And by "in the making" I mean I'm thinking about them in my brainium hehe....almost all of my posts are written on the spot with little revision. 


Therefore, I'm sorry for the numerous grammatical air-errs. 


Small joke, small joke. (I know, I'm a loser)


Alright, peace brothers and sistas from other mothas and mistas.


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out

Just Some Random Thoughts

Hey guys!


Yeah, I know...it's been awhile.


More than awhile, really. Like weeks. Months. 


Years.


Not really.


But close.


No....


Whatever.


Wow, I haven't written a post in a freaking LONG time!  


Funny story: I was bopping around on the internet like I always do, until I witnessed the most horrific Facebook incident, that it honestly made me puke.


Ok, not puke, but it made me want to write a hate-filled, anger driven, post about how STUPID girls are/can be.


I threw my headphones on and thought "I'm writing a post about stupid girls! I don't even know what time it is because my phone is lost somewhere in my tidal wave of college crap from moving out (Yes, freshman year has ended and it freaking ROCKED)!"


 Until I realized the time is always, unwaveringly located on my laptop. *Duh...


Well, after I decided that I was going to write this post about stupid girls, I decided that why stop at stupid girls? Let's talk about how stupid people can be in general!


On my mark, get set.....GOOO!


So first off, who in the right state of mind would create a photo album entitled "this is what you left behind" and post pictures of herself in front of some ugly curtain, biting her lip in the most awkward/non-modelesque way (hello? you're not a model)?


That's right! No one with stable mental health would do such a thing. 


Next - why would you quote yourself in a status? Who are you? Ghandi? Did you fight for some cause that changed the course of the future?  


Maybe you're fighting for Idiot Rights. 


I don't know.


But unless you're Oprah, George Washington, or the Mean Girl's script - you should NOT be quoting yourself. 


Moving on... - boys!


Boys- unless you are gay, stop acting gay.


Taking millions of pictures of yourselves before you go out on a Friday night to get drunk is not masculine in the least bit.


Posting the pictures on Facebook is an even bigger N-O.


Bringing the camera out with you....that's even gayer than Richard Simmons teaching a spinning class....


Listen, even I, a girl - a fully functioning female who loves all those girly things - won't bring a camera out with her on a Friday night. It's weird.  


Really....what do you do? Get the bouncer of the club to hold your lipstick as you search through your purse to find your camera so you and your 'buddies' can get a decent group shot?


Ew.


No. Just stop....existing.


Just kidding. 


Continue to exist.


But don't bring your camera with you to document your existence.  You're a guy.  Go throw a football or scratch those places where the sun don't shine. Do anything, please, but take pictures of yourself..... Please.


Which brings me to the topic of the classic mirror/phone in face default picture on Facebook.


You know what? No, I can't even bring myself to talk about that topic.


All I'll say is, I'm assuming people are liking your profile picture because they can't see your face behind your huge-ass smartphone with the blinding flash that is reflecting off of the mirror surface.


Great shot of you. Really - never looked better!


Anywho, this is fun! I'm letting off some steam here.  Wow, I feel like a teapot.


Just letting out all of that steam.  It's like a sauna.  


Mmmm. Clean pores.


Next topic!


I absolutely hate being second best all of the time.


Honestly, though, if you knew my life - hahahaha 


It's a joke.


A funny one, I'll give it that.  I mean, even I laugh at it - ha ha ha!


Ew...I sound crazy. No more crazy laughing through a post.


Seriously though.  


People need to stop coming to me, acting like their world is coming to a tragic end because of stupid crap, making me feel like I'm actually making them feel better, which makes me feel like I'm an awesome friend, only to find out that - hey! you're doing a whole lot better the next day! And wow. You're best friends with the person you were venting to me about - about how miserable she was making you feel.  And now, I'm sitting here, alone, like an idiot.


Please - maybe next time you can bring a check considering I'm practically only a therapist to you and NOT a friend. Psh, it's okay - I need the money anyway.


To buy myself a truck.  A big truck!


Topic switch!


I want a truck so badly.  How hot would that be?  Carting my girly ass all around town in a huge, awesome truck?


It would be beyond awesome, okay?  It would be...a word that I can't think of now because I am too exhausted.


Also, another topic change - why can't guys just like the girls that like them?  


See, I like this guy, and I am 100% positive that no girl likes him as much as I do - so why can't I win?  Why can't the person the other person likes the most just like that person back?


Ugh, that was confusing.


Why does Spotify have ads?


Why can't he just seeeeee


Why can't I just say "Yo! You. I like you."


And why can't he be like, "Hey, I heard you were a wild oneeeeeeee!"


Why can't we sing a duet to "Don't Mess With My Man?"


Why am I still typing ridiculous things.....


Why am I listening to oldies right now?


I like the oldies that's why...


Why do I keep asking questions?


Ugh, it's like my philosophy class all over again.


THAT was a nightmare.


And I don't give a damn about my reputationnnnnn.


Why do I have a Twitter account? I hate Twitter.


Why am I still awake....


I need to be up by 7 am.


Happy Eve of Mother's Day!


Okay...that's enough.


May we all have sweet dreams about extremely hot baseball players.


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Just A Normal Post...

Let's see how normal this post can last.


So! I forgot to tell you I have a *new* laptop! Sheila is collecting dust somewhere...Huh....I wonder where she is collecting dust....


Anywho.


This one is named Leo!


Yay!


So yeah. That's all I had planned to say, but I guess I'll keep going for the sake of my BOREDOM.


Some people are so mean.  Am I right?


What is wrong with half of the world? Do we need to say rude, unnecessary things? And use such vulgar language?


NO! 


Here's a lesson: If you have a negative comment or a rude remark, then keep it to yourself.  


Now, knowing me, I have a closest full that's bursting at the hinges with mean criticisms I could spew at society. And do I?


Yes! I do!


But maybe it'd be better if I stopped. Like for example, I should stop calling the guy who I liked/like/whatever the hell I feel a dirty, rotten, heartless, rat-like, piggish, butt munching, stupid, ugly, charming, gay, beautiful, jerk. 


*Cough.


That's not quite nice....


Or another example: calling every annoying skank on Facebook (you know, the "like the pic, not the link" twit faces) an annoying skank.  Because they are probably insecure and need mental help.


I'm not very good at this. I'm sorry.


Nevermind this nonsense, topic change!


You know what I've been addicted to lately?


Twitter.


It's so cool because you can make it look pretty! 


I put an ocean wave as my background picture and and I have sea blues and greens as my font colors!  Also, I'm purposefully trying to have hardly any followers because I can tweet about whatever I want without people being offended or me worrying about what other people might think.  


There's too many people on Facebook for me. And it doesn't look as pretty and it's annoying compared to Twitter. Although, thinking of it, people piss me off on Twitter, too.  


I can't escape from the imbeciles. That's why I seclude myself more often than not.  I try to escape them, but they always find me.


Speaking of imbeciles.


Whose idea was it to take pitchforks and burn torches to run out every surrounding town's village idiot into my town?  


No, really.


Driving on my main road today was like being swept up in a horrible circus act with clowns zipping all around me in minivans and moving trucks.


YES. MOVING TRUCKS.


This big, dirty truck that I had been keeping my eye on for a long time (because I saw it stall in the middle of the road...YEAH KIND OF DANGEROUS) decides to pull out right in front of me.


And what is it with people talking on the cell phone?


HELLOOOO ANSWER THIS: WHY ARE YOU DRIVING 60 MPH WITH BOTH HANDS OFF THE FREAKING WHEEL? BECAUSE OMGSH DANNY TEXTED YOU AND YOU JUST HAVE TO TEXT BACK? Um, I don't think that's an excuse! It'll sound like a poor one when people try to explain your untimely croaking!


Enough of this.


Simply thinking of the main road I have to drive on everyday makes my right foot slam down on an invisible gas pedal.


No, no...I don't have road rage...


Not that much anyway.


Well, that's all I have in me for today. 


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out

Reasons For Why I Am Single

You know what sucks? 


Being single. Being single!


Yes, I said it twice for emphasis. EMPHASIS! 


Anywho.


Yep, I've been single my whole life. Can you believe it? Single for my ENTIRE LIFE.


Is this even normal? No, really. I think I may have a disease or a curse or "the ugly" as Patrick Star would put it. 


You don't understand though.  I have put a lot of thought into this.  And with that I have derived various reasons for why I have never had a boyfriend.  Let's tick them off.


1) I am writing a post on a blog about being single.


2) There is a bra in my sock drawer.


3) There is an empty bag of gummy bears in my room. Who eats a whole bag of gummy bears? Single people.


4) I still watch Disney movies


5) I get annoyed too easily with people


6) My eye twitches when I'm stressed


7) My left calf muscle has been spazing out for 20 min


8) I could use a shower right now....


9) I tell my dog all of my problems.


10) My room is hardly ever neat


11) This nail polish has been on my toes since October


12) I'm really devastated over the fact I will never be a Teen Titan


13) I'm just single and always will be. Let's face it, I'll be posting about my sad, sad life until my fingers grow cold.


14) That was depressing


15) Gouda cheese makes me too happy


16) I'm just asdjlajsdasl unable to explain how I feel most of the time. Yes, that random letter attack was intentional.


17) I'M JUST TOO WEIRD 


18) I like the word "just" way too much. And I use it too much. 


19) I despise couples. 


20) Some days, I love everyone. This is not one of those days.


21) My love life never will go the way I want it to


22) Oh wait - LOL - my bad, I don't have a love life.


23) What the eff is a love life anyway? Gosh.


24) I will be forever single


There you have it. A list of valid reasons for my singleness. Sigh. Huh, this was kinda depressing....I apologize. Happier posts will come again soon! I promise.


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out

Dying Would Be An Great Adventure Indeed

If I could die right now, I think I would.

I would bring you with me because I don't want to die alone-

To die alone would be a tragic end indeed.

I would want to die before you.

I would want to enter paradise confused

but then relax into joyous realization that you are right behind me smiling.

We would hug tightly then emerge into light.

Establishing how blind we were before this moment.

We would laugh,

saying how ironic it was, that we feared all those years

to lose our lives, when it really was the best thing that could have ever happened.

I would love you more than I ever have loved you, because my love would never die.

You would kiss me like forever laid at our feet, because for once, forever would be alive.

The people would not judge us – not of our age or color – because their efforts to do so would be in vain,

And vanity is nothing but a splinter when you already live in perfection.

We would taste the sky, the non-existence of air, and the beauty of each other's souls.

We would run and fall, but not get hurt.

It would be so surreal – looking back on our former existence and noticing that it was only a long road-

a road where we could meet, fall into one another and pass into our divine purpose.

We would die together, and live.

Yes, I think if death came to me,

I would greet it.

Silsome Blupdates!

Hello and welcome to this silsome blupdate.  I thought I'd plop down and compose a post for- well I'd say for you, but since no one really reads this except my best friend, a few British people, and occasionally a Russian person it's mostly for myself.  Oh and for you random Google-ing people.  Hey, how's it going?


This blupdate is to inform the internet world that as of yesterday evening, I have finished the Hunger Games trilogy.  I cried my eyes out the whole time.  In my opinion, Collins killed off way too many people, to the point where it was sickening and made my head spin.  Yet, I still loved the book.  I feel like it had its ups and downs though.  If it ran through one more course of editing, then it would be perfect.  Some things just did not seem to flow as well as the rest of the books.  Maybe she was on a limited amount of time for this last book, because the ending seemed incredibly rushed.  I felt like I sprinted with every character in my arms, flung them over the edge of a cliff, and then simply strolled away as if nothing happened.  But whatever.  I'm a 17 year old aspiring published writer who does not know about publishing or professional writing (if there is such a term) at all.

NEW LAPTOP! That's right!  I have a new laptop named Sheila and she's much more capable of handling things, such as turning on and off and not freezing up on me.  Say hi, Sheila!

...

Can't blame her.  She's shy.

Next.  Still working on my story.  It's been going dreadfully.  No real progress, so I'm outlining the whole thing so I know exactly where I'm going with it.  In fact, as I write about how dreadful it is, I feel the urge to fix a few things in it.  Which I will do now...oh but I have homework later....maybe I'll take a nap.  Choices, choices....Darn indecisiveness!!!!


Oh, as for the title of this blog, look up "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll.  That should clear things up or make everything all the more confusing.

Signing out of this blog like yeah-
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Cafeteria CHAOS. That Jello is NOT Mellow....

Let's see where I left off with in the mission of destroying my APUSH teacher....

*Shimmery glimmery fade to THE CAFETERIA*

I walk into the medium-sized cafeteria with Howling Meercat by my side and Mushu, my dragon, on my shoulder hissing at every inanimate object.

"Why do you keep hissing at inanimate objects, shoe-mouse?!" I yell in utter frustration.

"Hisssssss.....because I sense DANGER YO! Hisssssssss.....Are we not trying to find that crazy old teacher's soul or not?!" He exclaims while pulling on my ear lobe.

Hm. He has a point.  Perhaps he'll be able to scare the soul straight from the inanimate object by hissing....but then again his intimidation level is like....'level not scary.'

"Fine, whatever. And stop pulling on my lobe!"  We walk down a row of empty tables, the remains of last period's lunch still present.  I pick up a string cheese wrapper, give it a sniff, then place it back on the table.

"What is it?" Howling Meercat asks, noting the puzzling look on my face.

"Nothing. It's just strange how some people do not throw away trash." I glance down at my watch, wanting to be conscious of the time.  12:09:35.

25 more seconds. My heart is pounding. 25 MORE SECONDS!!!!

"Guys hurry up!" I screech. "We need to move." I am half way to the destination I must reach when it happens.

The bell rings.

RINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

The sound is like a gentle stream at first.  Tranquil.  Then it sounds like when you turn on the water to your bathtub.  Rushing....but not so desperate- calming almost.  Suddenly, the sound is like a fierce waterfall, and I find I'm joining in on the percussion of rapid beats.  I'm sprinting down the length of the cafeteria, with the power of the crowd right behind me.  I blink my eyes, and when I open them, hands are all around me, reaching, pulling, snatching....

"LET GO!" I demand through clenched teeth.  I tug away with all my strength and AHA!

I fly backwards with a cup of green jello in my hands!   The last one, too! Hoo-rah. 

In your face pesky freshman! I go to the front of the line and pay 50 cents for the delectable gelatin.  Now, where are my accomplices?  I am about to go searching for them when I hear someone snickering behind me.

"Snicker...snicker...."  I whirl around and face......IT. My heart drops down into my stomach so hard I feel like I'm about to fall to the ground.  I can't appear this way - I must look composed.

"Hello, I see you're purchasing today's gelatin as well!" I say charitably, trying not to say "and you could readily do without it!" Instead, I mention, "The crowd was quite relentless, was it not?"

"I see what you're trying to do," She, my dreaded APUSH teacher, hisses. "Why yes, I do agree the crowd was relentless. Especially myself...." She laughs and hands the lunch lady 60 cents. "You can keep the change, you filthy animal."  She waddles off and I notice she doesn't take a spoon with her. Odd.

"I'll take that," I say to the lunch lady as I grab the 10 cents and hurry after the monster with jello.  I keep a good five feet behind her, so if she turns around to see if anyone is following her I can easily hide myself behind the bulk of her body.  I am trailing after her out of the cafeteria, and this is when I know that something very strange is occurring....why are we leaving?  I wonder if I should run back to find my partners, but I figure that at the moment this is more crucial.  I only hope that they do not worry where I am.

*Flash to where accomplices are*

"Woohoo!!! Go Mushu! Go Mushu!" *Mushu chugs jello as Howling Meercat cheers*

*Flash back to following APUSH teacher*

I continue to follow until she is in her room.  I watch her go inside, then shut the door.  I don't want to go with her for she would surely notice my presence if I did.  I peer through the vertical window and see the horror within.

She puts the jello on the table but does not eat it.  No, she in fact observes it for a moment, then stuffs it into a suitcase.  AHA! I can't help myself now, this may be my only chance.

I burst through the door and yell, "I've got you now, you beast!"  She falls over in surprise, and I do not wait for her to struggle to get back up.  "Alohomora!"  The suitcase flies open and I lunge for the jello.  I hold it in my hands shakily, not sure what the spirit within will try to do to me.  Before I think of it too long, I rip out my wand.  "My wand's name is Dave send this jello-soul to its grave!"

The jello melts, and I laugh out of shock/happiness.  "That was pretty easy!"

"Fool!" Uh-oh. She has arisen amongst her rolls of fat, her tiny head peering over the mound of her body.  Her eyes glow red as she tremors,  "That was my jello and not my soul! Now, I will not have an evening snack! You shall feel my wrath!"  Good thing she put on a few pounds or else she would've grabbed me by the neck before I had a chance to jump out the window on the right.  And, yes. I jumped out the window in full realization that I was completely wrong about the jello.  The whole way down that's all I thought about.

"I was wrong....wrong, wrong, wrong..."  I land in a crab apple tree, then slide down quickly.  I need to find my gang to warn them of my terrible mistake.  I burst through the doors of the cafeteria and see that it is again deserted, except for two figures at the very end.  My friends!  I run and start shouting about what has happened but then slowly come to a stop to see that Howling Meercat is tied and gagged. 

And Mushu is tying the final knot around her feet.

"Oh, are we playing Cops and Robbers? I thought that was every Saturday night-"

"Foooooollll!!!" Mushu leaps onto Meercat's lap and shouts at me. "This is not Cops and Robbers!"

"Oh, is it- well I can't think of another game this would be...," I say completely puzzled.

"It is no game!!!!! You are to perish! See I have tied your friend up to throw her into the oven! And you shall be next!!!"  Before I can make another attempt at guessing what game we are playing, he lunges at my face.  

"Oww! Hey-muff-oof-Get off my face!!!" I manage to throw him off and while he falls to the ground I see a peculiar sight....

An empty, smoking jello cup on the table.

"Mushu! Did you eat that jello?!" 

"Of course I did! It's irresistible! Now, time to bake in the oven, girl!"  He again leaps at me, but I kick him across the floor. 

"No!!! Mushu! That jello contained the soul of my APUSH teacher!"  I think back to when he ate the crab-apple...why didn't he turn evil then?  I help Meercat and ask what is going on.

"I think it's the accumulation of evil...See he ate the crab-apple which made him 40% evil, now he's eaten the jello, too, so that's another 40%.  He's now 80% evil!!!" Howling Meercat yells over Mushu's loud hissing.

"So that means..."  We both don't want to say it, but we know it's true.  Mushu will have to be destroyed.

I decide that I must not think too long about it, so I rush over and grab him by the tail.  He wriggles helplessly the whole time and, with tears in my eyes, I toss him into the kitchen's oven.

I sit down with Howling Meercat and explain the whole situation about our APUSH teacher.

"I think she knew that Mushu bought her jello.  She wanted him to eat it and become...like her.  So, to distract me, she bought a different jello.  One to lure me out of the cafeteria while the transformation would take place. Sadly, it worked....poor Mushu."

Howling Meercat stares down at her feet. "Poor, poor Mushu. I suppose we should leave now.  Finish this mission as soon as possible.  Where to next?"

For once, I don't have a clue.

"I don't have a clue."

END.

     

Well, that was slightly depressing! Don't worry it will get better. The APUSH teacher must be destroyed no matter what!

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Getting to Know the Author: 100 Things About Me

So.  I think it's time for a post that is not so silly. Although, I love being absolutely crazy, I think that this is necessary.  I need to open up a bit, even if you- whoever you are- could care less about who I am.  Let's call this: Getting to Know the Author.

It may seem vain and frankly, even a little stupid.  But look at it like this: people generally like to know about other people.  Let's face it- we are all a bit curious.  We want to know what other people think, do, like, dislike, etc.  Once we know get to know each other a bit, we realize we have some similarities: each person has a characteristic that you or I can to relate to, and we like relating to each other.  It makes us feel connected.  We're not alone.

That's what I'm going to do! I'll outline a picture of who I am for you.  I saw that a bunch of other bloggers did this, so I thought, what the heck! Why not?  Give me a shout out if you connect with me on any of things I'm about to type.

Facts about Yours Truly:

1. I need to have some kind of chocolate everyday.  It doesn't matter if it's a liquid, solid, or a gas.  I never realized until recently that I can't go a day without chocolate....sick, isn't it?
2. I have an obsession with not closing things.  I don't close cabinets or drawers.  This can be connected to the fact that I have an irrational fear of loud noises...I don't know, really. I hate closing things.  It drives my parents nuts.
3. Since I'm on the subject of loud noises...I am a globophobic. (that is, I fear balloons.) I'm am not being funny.
4. I have a secret crush on Ben Folds.
5. I have a dream of becoming a world renown writer.
6. I swear in privacy. Quite a bit, if the situation I'm in provokes me to. I'll just say this: I'm human.
7. At my school, I'm a quiet person with absolutely no personality. Yep. Outside of school, I AM NOT. It's that stupid school.  I hate it so much. It steals who I am away from me.  Shame that people won't get to know the real me.  This is why I can't wait to break away from that school.  I feel like I'm living under the shadows of the other students.  Can't wait to be free. 
8. When Bruno Mars sings, I close my eyes and pretend he's singing to me.
9. Many times, I look in the mirror and imitate Donald Trump. "You're fired!"
10. I make distorted faces at people who I don't like while walking behind them.  Occasionally, I do this in front of the security cameras at my school.
11. I am a dictionary.com/thesaraus.com addict.
12. I am a walking contradiction.  I want to scuba-dive, but one of my biggest fears is drowning.  I hate cold weather, but I love snow. I can only find things in my room when things are not organized. This is a proven FACT.
13. I am a nerd. And I am proud.
14. I hope that one of the following will happen: my parents will give me up for adoption and I will be adopted by J.K. Rowling OR when I become an author, J.K. and I will become very close friends (I'd visit her every so often for tea in her England estate).
15. I will not clean my room until it gets to the point where living in it is quite difficult.
16. I am a procrastinator. Right now, I'm procrastinating.
17. At one point in my life, I felt like I had no real friends. I didn't even have a best friend. I feel horribly about this now, because I've always had friends. AND I HAVE THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER! =) I think many people have felt that way at some point, though.
18. I am addicted to green tea.
19. Sometimes, I wish I was Asian.
20. I've wished on eyelashes, and looking back on those wishes, I thank God that none of them came true. For example, I wanted to marry Cole Sprouse when I was in the 6th grade.
21. When people don't listen to what I'm saying I keep talking anyway, and sometimes I even comment on what I say.
22. Which brings me to my habit of talking to myself.
23. I purposefully dislike YouTube videos that have comments that say "152 don't know good music" just to throw the off number.
24. I hope that when I graduate, my teachers will come across this blog and wonder if some of the posts are about them.  I hope they never read it while I'm still in school...yet sometimes I do.
25. I imagine myself doing things I'll never do. For instance, in my biology class freshman year I sat next to the projector.  That meant my job was to push the little button to turn it on when my teacher needed to use it. Multiple times I've imagined myself just hurling the projector at the whiteboard instead. I've always wondered how people would react. Other times, I've imagined myself jumping out of my desk and announcing, "SCREW THIS, I'M GOING TO HOGWARTS." Or in other daydreams, I just walk out of the school and lay on the grassy hill.
26. I have a theory that my friend's dad is a secret agent.
27. I promised myself that if I go to college in NYC, I will date a ballet dancer from Juilliard or the New York Ballet.
28. I wake up early just so I can watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. 
29. I pretend that I am dumber than I am. I don't know why I do, but I do. I am very intelligent though. I am erudite.
30. I'll stare at the back of somebody's head during class, and in my mind I'm saying something of the like, "Scratch your back, scratch your back, scratch your back..." or "Turn around, turn around, turn around..."over and over again to see if I can get them to.  It hasn't worked. Yet.
31. Sometimes when I'm walking behind a guy whose pants are much too low, I am tempted to just pull them down and yell, "BELT."
32. I am writing a novel, and there is certain character that I absolutely love. In my school, there is a kid who looks exactly how I pictured this character...for months, all I did during class was stare at him in awe. The resemblance is uncanny.
33. When my brother is taking a shower, sometimes I make myself have to go to the bathroom so I can flush the toilet on him. I am aware that this is extremely evil.
34. My cat ran away a long time ago and, well, she never came back home. Sometimes...I still cry over it if I think about it long enough. It's stupid I know...but whatever. Stupid cat.
35. I put celebrities that I have crushes on in my contact list for my cell, and occasionally I pretend to text them.
36. I am fully aware that I am weird, and I've accepted it.
37. I make up awesome songs in the shower, but then forget them when I finish.
38. I have feigned illness several times to escape school.  I was such a good pretender that I even fooled myself.
39. I yell at inanimate objects. Furiously at times.
40. When I'm home alone and I think I hear something or someone, I pretend to be a man who hunts and a ferocious guard dog.  The dog's name is Brutus. "Et tu Brute?"
41. I hate chewing noises. It turns me into a monster. If it's quiet, and you're chewing near me, I will be peeved at you for the whole time.
42. My favorite movies are Tangled and Aladdin if you haven't noticed.
43. If I had to live on only a few foods for the rest of my life it would be Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Dominos pizzas.
44. I am a vegetarian. Yay, veggies.
45. My favorite color is blue. It's been my favorite color since I was 4 years old. No joke.
46. I laugh randomly during class, mostly because a Spongebob Squarepants episode pops into my head.
47. I call myself Gwen the Super Hero, because years ago I wished I was StarFire from Teen Titans.
48. I can say the alphabet backwards without making any mistakes.
49. I swear my life is a living Jane Austen novel.
50. The theme songs to my life are: "Drops of Jupiter" by Train and "Doo-wah-doo" by Kate Nash.
51. My guilty pleasure T.V. show is Sarah Palin's Alaska.
52. I wouldn't mind marrying Michael Buble if it means he'd sing to me for the rest of my life. Love doesn't have an age!! Except for Aaron Johnson and his wifey-poo.
53. I went through a stage where I believed I'd be gothic. My only comment: HAHA.
54. I once made this epic fort in my closet, complete with a DVD player and a couch-ish pillow. That was only three years ago.
55. I'm an awkward person. But I've accepted this as well. I'd rather be honestly awkward than a fake.
56. Right now, I'm listening to Five Years Time by Noah and the Whale.
57.  If I could be any Disney character, I'd be Repunzel from the movie Tangled.
58. I fear the sight of blood, guts- the inside of the human body in general.
59. When I'm not writing, I usually feel sad.
60. RIght now, I'm happy.
61. If I get a bad grade on an essay, I convince myself that my teacher doesn't know anything about writing. I realize that this is stupid. Usually, I look back and see that I'm the one who doesn't know anything about writing, and I'll be depressed for the rest of the day.
62. To be honest, I don't have the closest relationship with my brother. One memory that stands out as a true 'bonding' moment, was when I was watching "Camp Rock" on Disney channel and he stopped by and started watching it with me. At the end, we were both disappointed that Mitchie and Shane didn't kiss.
63. I laugh when my parents yell at me. It noramally results in more yelling...
64. When I was little, I was afraid that everyone was a robot and I was the only human. Sometimes, I still wonder this....
65. I prefer imagination over reality.
66. I just realized that this could lead to schizophrenia....well, let's hope that never happens. Or perhaps schizos have more fun than the rest of us.
67. I hope to live in NYC for some time.
68. I want to own a horse one day. A white one. I'd name him Jonah.
69. I recently took a very long break from this blog to Google Spongebob quotes. 
70. "Secretly...I'm a little naive."
71. Don't think that all I do is watch cartoons. I don't. 
72. Ironically, I love the song "99 Red Balloons."
73. I tried learning Japanese once.
74. I believe that blogging is essential for my health.
75. I began blogging after I read a funny blog on Sparknotes. He blogged about Twilight.
76. The song "The Dog Days Are Over" empowers me....it instantly connects me with the world, and I feel vivacious and adventurous. It makes me want to travel the world.
77. The first CD I ever owned was a Backstreet Boys CD.
78. I enjoy listening to Taylor Swift the most when I write because she's so honest in her lyric writing, and I want to convey that same sense of honesty.
79. Once, my friend and I were leaving school, and this egotistical, obnoxious kid got in our way purposefully. We waited forever to let him pass, but he wouldn't move. Instead of turning the car around, my friend stepped on the gas and almost ran over him. We didn't, but secretly I was hoping she would...just a little nudge would do him justice.
80. My favorite T.V. show is Gilmore Girls.
81. I welcome germs.  They are a part of life. If something happens to drop on floor I'll eat it. I don't care.
82. I hate Kindles!!! And Kobos, and Sony Readers and all the other digital gadgets that are trying to take books away from the world forever.
83. I can't cook, mostly because I'm lazy. I prefer microwaving things and using the toaster oven.
84. I believe that people abuse their right to chew gum.
85. If I could destory one material object in the world it would be tights. Tights are the worst thing ever. I had to wear them for 7 years for my ballet class.
86. I think the whole world should go barefoot. I love wearing no socks. I go outside in the cold, rain, sunshine, and even snow with bare feet. It makes me feel free!
87. I don't believe in colored contacts or face surgeries (unless necessary). People need to learn how to appreciate the way God created them.
88. I'm generally a very optimistic person.
89. I'm independent. I enjoy alone time, when no one can bother me.
90. I lived in Juilliard College for two weeks once. =)
91. The most I've ever been scared was when I watched the "Exorcism of Emily Rose." We had to watch it in Film class. I thought I was a baby until I found out that my whole class couldn't sleep for days either.
92. I love to read. I read a ton of Nancy Drew books when I was little. I love Pride and Prejudice, and Shakespearean literature. I'm working on Lord of the Rings, but it's taking me forever (that man likes detail!), and I'm chomping down on Hacking Harvard - a modern novel.  The worst novel I've read is Robinson Crusoe.  As you know, or don't, I love Harry Potter.  I love The Princess Bride.
93. I want to start knitting.
94. I'm bad at keeping in touch with people, which makes me feel sorry. *sigh*
95. I absolutely hate it when people tell me what to do. 
96. I've secretly wanted to be a rock singer in a band, but I lack the ability!
97. I want to learn how to surf or at least try it.
98. I think the majority of people take life too seriously. I do at times...but I mean, what's the point? Enjoy life, don't let opportunities pass you. Don't worry so much about fleeting things. It's life. We all go throught it. Carpe diem, people. I wish I would follow this advice all the time.
99. I hope several years from now, people will look back on this blog and say, "So this is how she started..."
100. Well you either skipped to this point or you took the time to read my thoughts. I'll leave you with this: 

Pure as a puddle

murky and opaque

Simple as a stocking

threads so intricately weaved

Dull like a double-edge sword

sharp and skillfully created

We the people

so beautifully designed.

I like poetry! This is one I just made up and it's kind of lame, but I'm leaving it here for all the world to see.

Signing out of this blog like yeah-

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

A New Language Has Been Discovered on My Blog

ഹി മൈ നെയിം ഈസ്‌ ഗ്വെന്‍ പുച്കെട്റ്റ് ആന്‍ഡ്‌ ഐ അം സ്പീകിംഗ്‌ അനോതെര്‍ ലാംഗ്വേജ് ദിസ്‌ ലങ്ഗുഗെ സ്ക്രിപ്റ്റ് ഈസ്‌ രീല്ലി പ്രേട്ടി. യു ഹാവ് എ നൈസ് ലാംഗ്വേജ് ഐ വൌല്ദ് ലൈക്‌ ടോ ലീര്ന്‍ ഇറ്റ്‌ ഓനെ ഡേ. ഐ തിങ്ക്‌ ഇറ്റ്‌ വില്‍ ഹെല്പ് മൈ സുല്ടുരല്ലി

I never knew I could speak another language! Isn't the writing beautiful? I am embracing other cultures. This proves it. Ok, that is all.  This blog is a bit of a tease. Oh, I'm so flirtatious. 

Oh, and hey updates! Yeah! The design has changed. Why? Well I changed a big picture at the top and it matches better with this design I chose. That's all!

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

We Have One Thing that Voldemort Doesn't Have...

Noses and Mushu. Yes, I do mean that little dragon from Mulan.

FLASHBACK to a few blogs ago.

I was left behind in a deserted classroom, wondering how I will defeat the monstrous APUSH teacher...

*Dramatic Fade*

I walk out of the classroom and make my way down the hallway to the bathroom.  

She must be defeated! I cannot let her continue with this havoc reeking...THE REEKING MUST COME TO AN END. I wonder how I am to find the seven parts of her soul...and when I do, how will I destroy them? Oh fiddlesticks, this is just too much for me to handle. I might as  well be a death-eater. My life would be so much easier...

*A dramatic fade within this dramatic fade*

"Gwen...I love you. Will you please marry me?"

"Oh Bruno Mars! I-"

Sorry, wrong fade!

*Dramatic fade out of that dramatic fade all within the constant dramatic fade*

I am wearing a mask and torturing prospective seniors with AP US History. Oh hey look, there's my boss.

"Hey, Boss! How ya-"

She turns around, and I face the most hideous creature in my life!!!!

*GASP* "NO! It's her! I'm sorry I ever thought of this horrible day-dream! I want out! I want out!" I scream in pure, unadulterated agony.

*A more abrupt dramatic fade out of the current dramatic fade all within the dramatic fade*

Ok...let's not have that happen again. EVER.

I'm in the bathroom, contemplating. No, ya freak, I am most certainly not on the potty. Why would I do that? People drown in those things you know. Highly dangerous. No, I am sitting on the windowsill, staring out into the school courtyard.

You know what? I think I could use a sidekick. Yes, yes...someone to help me kick some APUSH butt. I don't know where I could find one. Oh hey, there's something in the courtyard...

"There's something out there...." I murmur as I lean toward the window to get a closer look.  I see a person walking about the courtyard aimlessly.

Well, this isn't exactly what I had in mind...but here goes something-

I open the window and call out, "Hey you!"

The wanderer peers up and waves. Then she continues walking.

"No, no!" I shout. "Listen, I have a question to ask you! Actually, more like a demand. Yes, you must obey me...you cannot refuse once I ask you."

She looks up again with a puzzled look. "What?" She calls out.

"I- Me. Yes, me. I have to ask you-" She still looked confused. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY, I'M SPEAKING ENGLISH HERE. WHAT ARE YOU TRULY? A ZORBIAN FROM PLANET ZORB?! WOULD GIBBERISH SUIT YOU?! FINE, THEN UOEADLLEABBBLUBBERFABBERMADHATTERRRRBLAHSHINGOMINKFUR-" Oh no! It seems that I have leaned too far out the window!!!

Down

down

down

down 

down

down

down     down....whoops! This down is lost! Let us redirect him...

down

down

down

down

down

dow-

I am, thankfully, saved by a crab-apple tree. And now "down" doesn't sound like a word to me anymore.  You are no son of mine!!!!

You know that feeling when you say a word too much? Gosh, what a long, DOWNward spiral that was, too. Down.

"What was it you were trying to say?" A girl, my age, comes and asks me, ignoring the fact that I am stuck in this most uncomfortable crab-apple tree.

"You. Yes, you. Will be my sidekick in avenging my pigmy puff, who died in infamy, and in the destruction of our most evil teacher." I tumble out of the tree like a rag doll. Today is just not my day. Besides the fact that I have a super-dee-dooper wand-o under my command-o.

"But-" She looks disturbed.

"NO! NO, BUTS. They bother me so." I dust myself off quickly. "Now, come along. We have to destroy our APUSH teacher. You don't happen to know where a part of her soul may be hidden, do you?"

"Um-"

"You know what. I think you and I, myself and yourself, yes- I think we," I point to her and then myself, "we will be good friends. And I know this is hasty, but Christmas is coming and I would like a dragon. Yes, I've always wanted a dragon. Ever since I was a mere child."

"Oh do you now? I happen to be part house elf."

"Oh well, that is FASCINATING." I stop and clap my hands together. "Can you go find me a dragon then? Would you do that?"

"It might take awhile...."

"I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE ONE NOW ELF!!" I shout angrily forgetting the manners my mommy taught me. "I mean, if it wouldn't cause you any trouble...my *friend*." =) <---- Me giving that irresistible smile. I must say that it doesn't really give it justice...but you get the picture.

*Snap cakes, snap cakes, there goes the elf- cakes! Poof!*

Annnnndddd she disappeared into thin air.

"I will take that as a yes!" I say merrily and start walking back to my school when I hear a voice hissing from somewhere within my perimeter....

"Yum, yum, yum....in my tum, tum, tum. If you consume me, BEWARE! Because then I will consume you! Yum, yum, yum."

"Yo ho, a pirate's life for me?" I whisper in return.

"You fool! I am no pirate! How dare you insult me in such a way!"

"Oh, well somebody's crabby." Crabby. Ha. Funny Word. Yet so ironic.....

Suddenly, I feel something burning in my jean pocket. "OMYGOSH WHAT IS HAPPENING?!" I tear through my pocket and pull out a small object and toss it to the ground in horror.  My eyes widen with fright at the sight before me.

A crab-apple is staring at me.

Or I assume that if it had eyes, it would be staring at me.

"You pathetic student! You will fail high school! And when you do, you can expect certain death!! Or work in a beauty salon for your entire life! Either is terrible! Muahahahahaa!!!"

"No...no...that won't happen," I say, terrified of the demonic crab-apple and its prophetic words.

"Oh, but it will! Yesssssss....." It hisses at me in the most repulsive way, I am tempted to kick it.  Unfortunately, pure fear of what may happen if I do encased my very soul.  I refrained from the brash act.  "Your pigmy puff is dead, your house elf friend deserted you, and you are dragonless."  

Everything is going blurry...I can't see straight.  My world is swirling around me...

"No...no..." I murmur, fading in and out of the world around me.  Then I hear a voice beyond the crab-apple.

"Don't listen to it! Destroy it! Hurry up, before it's too late!"

I close my eyes and force myself to find the strength within my heart.  I burst forth making the loudest battle cry I can.

"I AM PROUD TO BE A SPARTAN!" 

"Dude...you're American." 

*Fade is RUDELY interrupted*

"Ok, listen. My story. Not yours. My....story....notyours. And in this story THIS IS SPARTA. AND I AM A HUMBLE SPARTAN. With a really cool wand."

*Dramatic Fade*

With a rush of adreneline, I run and step on the crab-apple with all my might. AH-ha! Yes, it is finally defea-

"Ouchies!!!!" I squeal and jump off. "It bit a hole through my shoe!!!"

I fall down and the crab-apple advances toward me. It has a look of hunger drawn upon its fiber-filled, somewhat nutritional skin. Mmm...tasty! Or it would be if it wasn't evil.

"Stay away!!!" I crawl backwards rather pathetically. It's just about to leap on me and destroy me forever....

"ARGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAA!!!"

A red and blue blur flashes before me eyes and when it's gone, so is the crab-apple.  Phew....that was a close one!

I look around curiously and see that a few feet from is my house elf friend! With a dragon! That is feasting on the crab-apple!  Hoo-rah.

"I believe that this is part of that APUSH teacher's soul. She stored it within this crab-apple. Good thing I was able to find this dragon unusually fast or else you'd be...you'd be...huh..."

"Yeah, I dunno what the apple would've done to me either," I say to my house elf friend. "Thanks, though. Oh, and you brought me a dragon!"

"Why, yes! This is an Asian Lung, named Mushu," She pointed toward the dragon.

"I see....it's rather small." More like the size of a shoe....or a mouse. A shoe-mouse.

"I am your guardian dragon!!!!!" It shouted at me in a voice that sounded exactly like Eddie Murphy.

"Uh huh....," I reply, a little distracted by it's non-fierce-some-ness.

"It never shuts up," The part house-elf girl says.

"Well, then that's just adorable!" I say with complete sarcasm. "By the way, I never caught your name."

"My name is-"

"Wait, wait." I interrupt. "No. I need to give you a super-cool sidekick name. I got it. Yes. It is perfect. You will love it, I promise. Yes, your name shall be Howling Meercat."

"Ok, it's better than my real name which is-." BEEPBEEPBEEP. A cop on a scooter beeps us out of his way rudely.  Rude prude.  What a weird name she has....

"Strange....ANYWHO, LET US GO ONWARD WITH THIS PERILOUS JOURNEY INTO THE DARKNESS OF WHICH WE CALL HIGH SCHOOL!!"

"Alright. This should be fun! Too bad I have no choice."

"That's right! You have absolutely no choice!" I say joyfully. "I have a feeling that the next object of which the APUSH teacher's demented soul is in is somewhere located in the cafeteria...."

"Why?"

"Well reason numero uno: I am quite hungry. And quatro: I want to see what it's like to give a jelly legs jinx (I learned this from Starkid Potter) on some jelly."

Eddie Murphy's voice rings out suddenly, "Ain't no way you're going to be eating jelly when the huns are popping up like daisies!" I look down at the shoe-mouse.

"Right...." I smile and nod politely. 

"Ready?" Howling Meercat says finally.

"Let us go. ONWARD!"

*Fantastical fade out of this dramatic fade*

Well, that was fun. Or maybe you were completely bored and hated the whole thing and now hate me forever and ever for ever creating such a stupid blog, and now you feel the nagging urge to throw your compy out the window because this blog just angered you so.

All I can say is- I HATE YOU TOO NOW OUT.

No. Sadly, I can never hate anyone who takes the time out to read this blog, even if it angers them *Cue puppy dog eyes and adorable face*

Just kidding! I can hate you! In fact, if I wanted to, I could most certainly hate you right this instant. But I won't. I love you too darn much!

Not really. Ok, bye.

Wait, no...Just this moment, the thought occurred to me: Why did I never use my wand to destroy the crab-apple? Oh right, right. I know. It is because I have yet to master it. I will. One day. Preferably my next blog or sometime whenever. I'll practice when my parents go to sleep. Ya, believe me, I'm such a rebel!

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Stay tuned next time...for THE NEXT BLOG, DARN IT. Geez, don't pee yourself. I don't give "sneak peeks." Bye for real peeps!

Over the Hills and Through the Woods to Splitsville We Go.

The art of breaking up. It can be complicated, depressing, horrible, ugly, pretty, life-changing, a volcanic eruption, or totally awesome!(not really) Thankfully, I'm here to save you. You can always count on me. I advise you to take some of these helpful tips. It can make breaking-up seem fun! Then you go home and cry for hours with a bowl of pretzels and hummus and a sappy love movie that makes you hate life OR you make out with Taylor Lautner- your new bf! Wow, I got over that break-up fast!

Some ways to thwart the break-up-ier; confusion guaranteed:

It's over.

You: Oh, phooey.

We're done.

You: No! I'm done! *run away*

I think we should take a break.

You: Okay, I'll meet you back here in five then?

I can't stand you. I'm leaving you.

You: Don't let that door hit yo butt on the way out then!

It's not you, it's me.

You: Yeah, it is! You suck!

I'm breaking up with you.

You: I'm freeeeee!!! *fall to your knees and spread your arms upward*

Ways to break-up with that person who just makes you think of bad after-tastes, like lemons or guacamole (unless you like guacamole- I DO NOT TOLERATE GUACAMOLE LOVERS- OUT NOW! Just kidding. Please, stay. I'm lonely...Just kidding, I've got a werewolf bf now!):

You: Sianara foo!

You: Yeah, I broke up with you the day I met you. So technically, I don't need to break up with you because I already did.

Dumpee: What? No, you didn't.

You: YOU HAVE NO PROOF THAT I DIDN'T! *run away madly*

You: Like every horrific love story, this needs to end.

(Ouch! A bit cruel, but if you want him to feel the pain, it's perfect! Sorry, Edward. It's for the best.)

You: I'm moving. To Yudoturro.

Dumpee: Where's that?

You: Oh you know....on the map. Near a body of water. Next to some desert. Far away from you.

You: I need some time. My very large goldfish ate my other small goldfish and died.

Dumpee: Time? They're just fish!

You: You have no consideration! We're over with!

You: My dog ate my homework.

Dumpee: Huh?

You: Good-bye, forever.

Dumpee: Wait-

You: Don't make this harder than it is. Farewell.*Walk dramatically away*

Dumpee: I will always love you.

You: What? Are you breaking up with me?

Dumpee: Um, no, I said-

You: O my gosh, you are!

Dumpee: No, I'm-

You: FINE! GOOD-BYE FOREVER AND EVER, JOSEPH JONAS!!! (I don't like him. He bothers me so.)

You: My hott werewolf friend doesn't like you. And neither do I.

You: Avada Kedavra, Jerk! (This will get rid of him for sure!)

See? Breaking-up isn't that bad after all! Until you go home and drown in your loneliness.

But there are plenty of other fish in the sea! Like that bag boy in the grocery store or that kid who you know from that place that you go to or that guy you always see in the mall who has a bajillion tattoos and a piercing on his armpit (He's probably not the best choice. Unless you, too, have an armpit piercing and can totally relate to him...that's cool!)

So put on those bouncy shoes and bounce back, you resilient rubber band, you! And slash your ex's tires the next day! That'll show him!!

Ok, no, I'm kidding. I mean what would Carrie Underwood do? Did she just slash that snot rocket's tires? No she did more than that!!! And you should, too. Take it from her.

"I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped (souped? Like the food? I hate cars.) up four wheel drive.

'Carved my name into his leather seat!!!"

Something something.... (I never really liked this song)

"Slashed a hole in all four wheels!"

See, she did more than that! Just say to yourself when you're dumped, what would Carrie do?

Get sweet revenge, darn it!

Ok, personally, I'm a pacifist so I'd never do that.

I lied, I'm not a pacifist.

Actually, I don't really know. No one has attempted to punch my face. Therefore, I'm not so sure. And now I'm rambling.

This blog? Love it? Hate it? Tell me, oh multitude of fans I have.

“You have no fans, dork.”

Ahaaa. You so funny! Not.

Shut up! I can dream can't I?!

Sianara, foo!

Zoinks! =) Love Pinky. (Look it up)

Signing out of this blog like yeah-

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.