Dying Would Be An Great Adventure Indeed

If I could die right now, I think I would.

I would bring you with me because I don't want to die alone-

To die alone would be a tragic end indeed.

I would want to die before you.

I would want to enter paradise confused

but then relax into joyous realization that you are right behind me smiling.

We would hug tightly then emerge into light.

Establishing how blind we were before this moment.

We would laugh,

saying how ironic it was, that we feared all those years

to lose our lives, when it really was the best thing that could have ever happened.

I would love you more than I ever have loved you, because my love would never die.

You would kiss me like forever laid at our feet, because for once, forever would be alive.

The people would not judge us – not of our age or color – because their efforts to do so would be in vain,

And vanity is nothing but a splinter when you already live in perfection.

We would taste the sky, the non-existence of air, and the beauty of each other's souls.

We would run and fall, but not get hurt.

It would be so surreal – looking back on our former existence and noticing that it was only a long road-

a road where we could meet, fall into one another and pass into our divine purpose.

We would die together, and live.

Yes, I think if death came to me,

I would greet it.

Baggage Claim

I am searching for baggage that goes with mine:
a suitcase that matches the rest of my junk,
mixed up and mangled and misshapen; 
a backpack to keep my lonely tote company;
anything at the ready to pack and flee with me
to scour the planet for adventurous lessons;
or a bag that can hold the weight of my belongings,
which happen to be very heavy at the moment.

Can you hold my world in your hands?
Can you make yourself last?
Will you fight to fall apart not?
Will you promise to at my side hang?

Life is messy and so am I – objects are sure to fly.
I need baggage to squeeze the fly-aways tight,
so that I might not lose these pieces of mine.
You will need to keep steadfast to me; 
I know it will be a perilous ride.
I assure you I will grasp your handle,
so long as you grasp mine.

Yes, I am looking for baggage that goes with mine:
some one who will travel by my side until we reach the world’s edge.

Starting Fresh!

And so far I want to crawl in a hole and weep.

Well readers, I've done the most tragic thing possible.  I'm starting over with my whole novel.  I've written four pages so far, and I HATE IT.  I'm so distressed right now.  I need some kind of inspiration because my imagination is lacking.

That's all.

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

 

I LOVE MY TEDDY BEAR!

My amigo, my partner in crime, my Valentine every Valentines Day, etc. 

No. Not a stuffed animal, although he resembles one! My dog, Teddy Bear. He's adorable. I introduced him to my blog with a lovely candid on the right....scroll down and see for yourself and let his cuteness make you rethink what the definition of cuteness really is! He wasn't too happy that I took that picture.... even after I tried convincing him that he is very photogenic!  Animals these days....

Anyways, I've been working on some poetry. And my story's outline as well.  Slowly but surely!

Always Running.

Mis.                              Communication.

Miss.                   You.

                                                                                       I'm

    i       ing

m   ss               chances.                                                 Too

f     a       r               away.

You  are

                      out

                            of

                                  r

                                    e

                                      a

                                         c

                                            h.

I'm  R- U- N- N- I- N- G                                                late. 

Silsome Blupdates!

Hello and welcome to this silsome blupdate.  I thought I'd plop down and compose a post for- well I'd say for you, but since no one really reads this except my best friend, a few British people, and occasionally a Russian person it's mostly for myself.  Oh and for you random Google-ing people.  Hey, how's it going?


This blupdate is to inform the internet world that as of yesterday evening, I have finished the Hunger Games trilogy.  I cried my eyes out the whole time.  In my opinion, Collins killed off way too many people, to the point where it was sickening and made my head spin.  Yet, I still loved the book.  I feel like it had its ups and downs though.  If it ran through one more course of editing, then it would be perfect.  Some things just did not seem to flow as well as the rest of the books.  Maybe she was on a limited amount of time for this last book, because the ending seemed incredibly rushed.  I felt like I sprinted with every character in my arms, flung them over the edge of a cliff, and then simply strolled away as if nothing happened.  But whatever.  I'm a 17 year old aspiring published writer who does not know about publishing or professional writing (if there is such a term) at all.

NEW LAPTOP! That's right!  I have a new laptop named Sheila and she's much more capable of handling things, such as turning on and off and not freezing up on me.  Say hi, Sheila!

...

Can't blame her.  She's shy.

Next.  Still working on my story.  It's been going dreadfully.  No real progress, so I'm outlining the whole thing so I know exactly where I'm going with it.  In fact, as I write about how dreadful it is, I feel the urge to fix a few things in it.  Which I will do now...oh but I have homework later....maybe I'll take a nap.  Choices, choices....Darn indecisiveness!!!!


Oh, as for the title of this blog, look up "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll.  That should clear things up or make everything all the more confusing.

Signing out of this blog like yeah-
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

New Poem...

“Lost in Time”

I hold broken clocks.

My face distorted

in the reflection of

cracked glass surfaces.

Someone pry my fingers

from their accusing faces.

1,2,3,4,5,6,

7,8,9,10,11,12....

The undying echo of

the number of my mistakes.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

It's a mad song,

and I can't sing along.

Complicated gears and screws-

these clocks are beyond repair.

1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds...

An understanding seeps

from the inner-most box

of my elusive mind,

and the seeping spreads,

warming my icy grip

on the mocking time keepers.

I drop them.

One by one, delicately smashing.

The numbers scattering.

I watch the final crash! of glass.

Gears flying about,

and I free myself

of this mess,

knowing that they are not

meant to be repaired,

but that I am.

Hm. Spelt or Spelled? I'll Go With the Healthy Kind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suzwkw0dYmM

Good song if you're sad.

Hi ;) 

Wow, it took me five minutes to figure out how to get a wink on that smiley face.

That's besides the point though. The point I'm about to make- the point of this blog - is that my novel progress has been SABOTAGED.

Not just that, but my hair is gross, I ate a bag of sour-patch kids just after I worked out, school started again which means this semester I have PE class every morning, "The Green Hornet" was completely awesome/funny/unrealistic, but the whole time I was distracted with calculating how much fatter I'd be after I consumed my sour-patch kids and mentally writing a review of the movie in my head, and my laptop has passed on to the other life so I am stuck with typing on THIS computer (and you can't tell which one it is but it SUCKS because it's in our family study where anyone can waltz right in and discover my blogging).

I use caps a lot. I apologize, but I feel like it is an effective tool in expressing my feelings.

Anyways, life has been sabotaging my writing as you can tell from the above tirade. Not to mention that my whole world is being sustained by this little chip-like object called a USB. All of my writing (and miscellaneous files) - from short stories to poems to one failed novel to one novel in progress to a picture of zebras- is on that chip thing. A pink chip.

And yes, I had to look up the spelling of miscellaneous on Google. Alas! I spelled it right.  And just then I typed the word 'spelt' instead of 'spelled.' You know why?! Because for the last few days I've been living on spelt bread- the bread people skip over in the grocery aisle because its the icky kind that falls to bits since it doesn't have white flour. Yeah, that kind. I suffer in the name of vanity.

Life, my friends (a.k.a. random people who stumbled upon my blog because Google is cruel and led you here) is a viable opponent in this world and it will constantly try to make you lose. Right now I'd say the score is:

ME: 2.5 pts

LIFE: 2.5 pts (in billions)

But I choose to play against life. That reminds me of a very good idea that was brought up in Eat.Pray.Love.

Here's the quote:

"A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It's called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

Hm. Sounds a bit like a J.K. Rowling quote I've heard once (or a million times because she's my hero).

Not saying I'm in ruins, but my post just reminded me of this quote, and I hope you all learn something from it as I have.

I'll try to see the good in my laptop being mutilated. It gives me time to think of more ideas for my story, which allows me to avoid writer's block! The ruin of my laptop has led to the transformation of my story (in a good way).

Okay, Life, let's see the score now:

ME: 3 pts

LIFE: 2.5 pts (in billions)

Hey, wait. Spelling miscellaneous right earns me another point.

ME: 4 pts

Yay!

Bottom line is life is crazy, but it's necessary for- well, um, LIVING.

If you think life is unfair and too chaotic to handle, just remember this: Great people don't come in Betty Crocker boxes.

It's not like God reached into his holy kitchen cabinet and pulled out a box that says: Preheat Oven To 350 Degrees. Open Box. Pour Out Contents. Mix. Place In Oven. Bake For Awhile. *ding* Receive Great Person Of Importance.

No! All people are born, all people are unique and flawed, and all people have to go through crap on different levels. It's all about how we handle the obstacles thrown at us and how we arise from falling down to rock bottom.

Honestly, I haven't seen the worst of anything yet, but I will one day.

And honestly, I have no idea why I wrote this post. It's only purpose was to serve as a means to vent my feelings and to express my inner thoughts. Boring....sorry. I will post an interesting book review or a story about what's been going on with destroying my former APUSH teacher- soon, I promise. 

Bye for now.

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

PS

I'm reading The Hunger Games as of late! It is very interesting and the plot is the only thing that is keeping me reading it because I think so far the characters are flat and the writing too choppy. Hm, I think I smell a book review!!

Reading Between the Lines. Let My Words Cry.

Her Lovely Fate (An Original)

A girl bound to hopes and dreams

stared out across the endless sea.

Salty mist and gloomy clouds

and bitter tears are what called her out.

A grainy blanket warmed her feet,

the only comfort she received.

Eyes to waves, the connection was made.

A bond, a cord of the strongest emotion.

Her heart beat with the crash of the waves

and she tossed it out to satisfy her crave.

And forever it remains.

They called out to her, the other ones,

so she kissed her love good-bye.

But while away, she cried and cried,

“My heart is gone! I will surely die!”

She fled from that place and journeyed in haste.

Her love awaited, forever stalemated

between rocks and sand and grassy land.

The wooden pier splintered her feet,

her heart now at a faster beat.

The storm raged like an animal caged

as she cried out, “My love, I'm back! My heart, I'm back!”

The ocean spray, salty and light,

never brought her so much delight.

The others arrived in worry, spotted her and ran in a hurry.

Their cries, their yells, and shouts of fear

could not pass the ocean to her ears.

She closed her eyes, arms spread to fly,

and leaped from the balcony's wooden side.

The icy waters hugged her lungs,

welcoming her from her loving plunge.

The salty waves held her in a tie,

and she fervently hoped there to die.

In a lover's embrace, forever encased,

her body floats there

and forever remains.

Blogging my Journey: The Story is Unfolding Before My Eyes

Hi there! Quick post to say a few important things.  

I'm working on a novel, and I'm so psyched for it that I feel like talking about it on here!  I've been thinking of some pretty awesome ideas, and I'm finding that these ideas are meshing together nicely.  Now, for big news! 

Big news for me at least.

I'm planning on blogging about my journey through creating this novel. 

Why? It gives me motivation.  Motivation to keep up with it.  If I plan on blogging about it, then I feel as though I HAVE to finish it.  And finishing my novel is a huge, but attainable, goal.

I went through a dark time.  I'll call it my ginormous writer's block of death.  Only I'm surviving.  I have written about 70-something pages, and I think the idea is fab. Unfortunately, my thoughts for it were not coherent within the writing.  It was falling apart before my eyes.  I got so frustrated, I simply gave up on the whole fiasco!

Fiasco. That's what it was becoming. A fiasco.  I am thoroughly ashamed. 

Not anymore. No, I am not giving up that easily.  I'm going to finish it, even it is a complete train wreck.  It needs some saving though.  I'm going to outline the story first.  That way, I have a guide to follow.  I won't be writing on a whimsy.  I actually started writing the outline in school during my free period.  That class is extremely useful....never take it for granted if you have it.  Anyway, because of that class I have the first several chapters outlined. Yay progress! 

SO...What's it about?  Well, I am not revealing much, because I don't like having ideas this big out for the whole world to see...and steal.  I will say that it is fictional.  It is a fantasy.  My favorite character is Hob. It takes place in the U.S., and it's absolutely brilliant.  I'm thrilled with it.

I do need some rooting on throughout this process.  Keep checking back here on my blog for news! Even though I don't really have any followers or comments or anything on here, I do see that people view my blog and THAT is enough for me to keep writing/blogging.  But those other aspects are greatly appreciated, of course.

This is a writer's blog.  If you're a writer, you will understand exactly what I am going through. If you have a heart, you'll be here to help me along the way. *puppy dog eyes*

That's all! Lucky ducks- two blogs in one day. ;)

Signing out of this blog like yeah-

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.