Just Some Random Thoughts

Hey guys!


Yeah, I know...it's been awhile.


More than awhile, really. Like weeks. Months. 


Years.


Not really.


But close.


No....


Whatever.


Wow, I haven't written a post in a freaking LONG time!  


Funny story: I was bopping around on the internet like I always do, until I witnessed the most horrific Facebook incident, that it honestly made me puke.


Ok, not puke, but it made me want to write a hate-filled, anger driven, post about how STUPID girls are/can be.


I threw my headphones on and thought "I'm writing a post about stupid girls! I don't even know what time it is because my phone is lost somewhere in my tidal wave of college crap from moving out (Yes, freshman year has ended and it freaking ROCKED)!"


 Until I realized the time is always, unwaveringly located on my laptop. *Duh...


Well, after I decided that I was going to write this post about stupid girls, I decided that why stop at stupid girls? Let's talk about how stupid people can be in general!


On my mark, get set.....GOOO!


So first off, who in the right state of mind would create a photo album entitled "this is what you left behind" and post pictures of herself in front of some ugly curtain, biting her lip in the most awkward/non-modelesque way (hello? you're not a model)?


That's right! No one with stable mental health would do such a thing. 


Next - why would you quote yourself in a status? Who are you? Ghandi? Did you fight for some cause that changed the course of the future?  


Maybe you're fighting for Idiot Rights. 


I don't know.


But unless you're Oprah, George Washington, or the Mean Girl's script - you should NOT be quoting yourself. 


Moving on... - boys!


Boys- unless you are gay, stop acting gay.


Taking millions of pictures of yourselves before you go out on a Friday night to get drunk is not masculine in the least bit.


Posting the pictures on Facebook is an even bigger N-O.


Bringing the camera out with you....that's even gayer than Richard Simmons teaching a spinning class....


Listen, even I, a girl - a fully functioning female who loves all those girly things - won't bring a camera out with her on a Friday night. It's weird.  


Really....what do you do? Get the bouncer of the club to hold your lipstick as you search through your purse to find your camera so you and your 'buddies' can get a decent group shot?


Ew.


No. Just stop....existing.


Just kidding. 


Continue to exist.


But don't bring your camera with you to document your existence.  You're a guy.  Go throw a football or scratch those places where the sun don't shine. Do anything, please, but take pictures of yourself..... Please.


Which brings me to the topic of the classic mirror/phone in face default picture on Facebook.


You know what? No, I can't even bring myself to talk about that topic.


All I'll say is, I'm assuming people are liking your profile picture because they can't see your face behind your huge-ass smartphone with the blinding flash that is reflecting off of the mirror surface.


Great shot of you. Really - never looked better!


Anywho, this is fun! I'm letting off some steam here.  Wow, I feel like a teapot.


Just letting out all of that steam.  It's like a sauna.  


Mmmm. Clean pores.


Next topic!


I absolutely hate being second best all of the time.


Honestly, though, if you knew my life - hahahaha 


It's a joke.


A funny one, I'll give it that.  I mean, even I laugh at it - ha ha ha!


Ew...I sound crazy. No more crazy laughing through a post.


Seriously though.  


People need to stop coming to me, acting like their world is coming to a tragic end because of stupid crap, making me feel like I'm actually making them feel better, which makes me feel like I'm an awesome friend, only to find out that - hey! you're doing a whole lot better the next day! And wow. You're best friends with the person you were venting to me about - about how miserable she was making you feel.  And now, I'm sitting here, alone, like an idiot.


Please - maybe next time you can bring a check considering I'm practically only a therapist to you and NOT a friend. Psh, it's okay - I need the money anyway.


To buy myself a truck.  A big truck!


Topic switch!


I want a truck so badly.  How hot would that be?  Carting my girly ass all around town in a huge, awesome truck?


It would be beyond awesome, okay?  It would be...a word that I can't think of now because I am too exhausted.


Also, another topic change - why can't guys just like the girls that like them?  


See, I like this guy, and I am 100% positive that no girl likes him as much as I do - so why can't I win?  Why can't the person the other person likes the most just like that person back?


Ugh, that was confusing.


Why does Spotify have ads?


Why can't he just seeeeee


Why can't I just say "Yo! You. I like you."


And why can't he be like, "Hey, I heard you were a wild oneeeeeeee!"


Why can't we sing a duet to "Don't Mess With My Man?"


Why am I still typing ridiculous things.....


Why am I listening to oldies right now?


I like the oldies that's why...


Why do I keep asking questions?


Ugh, it's like my philosophy class all over again.


THAT was a nightmare.


And I don't give a damn about my reputationnnnnn.


Why do I have a Twitter account? I hate Twitter.


Why am I still awake....


I need to be up by 7 am.


Happy Eve of Mother's Day!


Okay...that's enough.


May we all have sweet dreams about extremely hot baseball players.


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Some College Advice.

Hey all, I know I have been lazy with posting, and I sincerely apologize for that.  Have no fear, because, yes, I am still alive and well. It's just been a bit hectic.  Why? Because of COLLEGE!


So since I have survived my first semester at college and have acquired more knowledge then you peppy, moody, angsty high school students (if you are out of college, then whatever) I shall bestow some wise words on your behalf.  


You see, you may love high school now, but guess what? Your years at that rat hole will fly by!  Excuse me for using not-so-nice terms when referring to hell school - I mean, high school, because I happened to have an icky experience there, but that's what happens when you are forced to go to a practically all white, snotty Catholic school run by Mussolini reincarnated. 


Anywho, if you hate high school then college is like.....13192309139812102931209831023809 times better.  If you love high school and you never want to leave, it'll be a hit or miss.  It depends.


Alright, let's cut the small talk and get to my golden advice.


Numero Uno: Yes, there is a dining hall open for you at almost all hours of the day and yes it does contain an ice cream bar (complete with a soft serve machine!), but YOU WILL NOT DIVE OFF THE DEEP END AND DROWN IN ITS CREAMY CALORIE-NESS. The freshman 15 does exist and it's a horrific monster that looms at every ice cream and pizza bar at college. Just watch yourself, and if those jeans start to feel tight around the hips, that's your warning sign. Don't ignore it. Or you'll end up like that lady who is trying to reach 1000 pounds and has her boyfriend feed her donuts as he Irish dances on her rolls of fat (Google her).


Moving on. This next one is for girls.


2) You will probably go to a party even if you hate parties. If you have fun or not, that's up for you to decide. But that guy who is going to hit on you is a player.  Trust me. And he does not care about your little dreams about falling in love at college or whatever, okay? He just wants to score with you so he can brag about it to all of his stupid weasels (or friends, same thing) and then he will most likely hurt you.  This happens 99.9% of the time.  That .1% is somewhere in a Disney movie.


This next one is for guys.


Tres- Guys don't be jerks.  If you want to be a smart ass and play girls like they are vinyl records or something (yeah, no one uses records anymore, I know. How about play them like a pan flute?), then you will end up fat, alone, and sad.  Bottom line, be nice and respectful.  Or else no one will like you, not even yourself.


D) Focus on your schoolwork! Do it.  There will be plenty of activities to attend, trust me.  So get cracking on your workload and try to be the best student you can be.  College actually matters.


Fifth: Haha another tip, DON'T wear your lanyard around campus, okay? That's basically wearing a sign with bold letters that says, "I'M A FRESHMAN."


6) The upperclassman are in no way intimidating. They are actually really nice, normal people. So come out of your little turtle shell and don't be afraid to ask where a certain building is or which professor is good/bad.


Numero Seis- Try the gym every once in awhile! You need exercise.


Eight: You will never get a decent amount of sleep again.  Except when you go back home for breaks.  And when you go home, you'll really appreciate it.  What you'll want to do is bring your favorite pillow and blanket from home, so that you will be comfortable when you finally get some shut eye.  Also, invest in an egg crate.  It'll save your back.


I) Be friendly to everyone, because this is no longer high school and people are actually nice and a little more mature now so you don't want to come off as hostile.  You do want to make friends, right?


X) Get a job on campus! You're going to run out of cash sooooooooo fast.  You don't want to pull from your savings account, so earn a little side cash.


329801) Bring lots of clothing with you as well as lots of storage containers. Your closet will be pitiful and those dresser drawers are shallow.


T) Be neat. Life can get hectic, but try to keep your things organized or else you'll be scrambling to find that textbook and wind up late to class.


22) Make friends with the food servers in the dining hall! 


23) It's your first semester and everything is new and exciting! Go and have fun!


Alright. I think I'm finished with this post. I hope you all eat and digest my fruitful words.


Signing out of this post like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out