Another Butter Blog

William Goldman- You are one of my favorite people.

And I haven't even finished his book The Princess Bride yet! But the process is going swimmingly. (Awkward word- 20 points)

I read page 203, and I was elated!! (Awesome word- 10 points)

Why?

Buttercup was booed! One BIG FAT metaphorical boo, too! (Rhyming words unintentionally- 45 points)

Ah- but alas! (Adventurous word- 15 points) 'Twas only a dream....that part disappointed me....but it added to the metaphoricalness (New word- 10 points)

At the same time, I was kind of happy it was only a dream.

"But you hate Buttercup! You always make up stupid nicknames for her that no one finds funny except yourself! You make NO SENSE. I HATE THIS BLOG! ARGGGG!!!!" *Throws compy*

*Skillfully dodges computer*

"Whoa! Watch it there! I'm going to make a point, if ya don't mind..."

Well, The Princess Bride is a 'classic tale of true love and high adventure' and I'm hoping that Butter Face will realize that she desperately needs to change her hoity toity, stuck up nose, go-fetch-me-some-turkish-delight-slave attitude to keep the 'true' part of 'true love' there.

In other words- I'm hoping for another character change.

Goodness! She's your regular Jekyle and Hyde now isn't she?!

Buttercup: Wheres is it?! Wheres has we placed it?! *Searches franticly around room*

Prince Humperdinck: Oh, I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Butter! I have a treat for you.... *Holds delicate bottle by the tips of his fingers*

Buttercup: What? Oh yes yes! Gives it to us, Master!! Gives it to us!!! 

Prince Humperdinck: Go fetch. *Throws across floor, then glides out of room*

Buttercup: IT'S MINE!!! Yes yes yes.....*strokes bottle shakily and takes a sip*

That was disturbing....let's not have that happen again....

I KNEW IT!

I knew I recognized Butter Face from somewhere!

She obviously played Gollum in Lord of the Rings.

Back to the novel.

So Buttercup is booed in this dream of hers.  The person who booed her is...me. No, but oh boy, do I wish. If I was there I would've. You know it, too. 

Unfortunately, it is not me, the awesome person who blogs. It is this old woman who basically says Butter Face gave up on true love when she had it her hands the whole time.

Dang straight she did.

*Looks across room preparing to go on to the most infuriating part in the novel. Takes a few breaths...*

Buttercup is just full of surprises.  She replies to the old woman: "I gave my word to the prince."

Alright Butter Beer, tell me what's more important: your heart or your word?

"Oh, Gwen, isn't it obvious? Your heart." Buttercup responds stupidly.

WHAT A TWIT FACE!!! Yes, of course it's your heart, and you gave your shrivled up heart to Westley! Not to Prince Barbarian! Poor, poor Westley. It's not fair for Westley! And why is Butterface so heartless and cruel?! WHAT THE HECK?

Then Goldman interrupts the story with some commentary.

And I suddenly calm down....

"You? Calm? Please, you are like so not-"

"SHUT UP, I WAS CALM!"

Like I was saying, I suddenly became...calm.

He says somewhere in his long-ish spiel (Stolen Word (read page 208)- 75 points) this:

"This book says 'life isn't fair' and I'm telling you, one and all, you better believe it."

It isn't! And I'm old enough to know it's not, but to read it...to see it there in front of my eyes, made me realize on a whole new level that LIFE ISN'T FAIR DARN IT.

That gave me some reasoning as to why Buttercup is being so cold toward Westley. Why Westley had to be left behind there, only to soon be tortured.

Goldman is trying to make a point; he even said it right there in his commentary.

Maybe he didn't intend to show that life isn't fair through the whole Westley/Buttercup disaster, but it sure played a role in proving that statement.

Life isn't fair. But I think when things are absolutely meant to be, they do happen...which leads to my prediction.

Prediction (as MUCH as this is going to KILL me): Westley and Buttercup end up together.

"But you hate her! You don't make any sense...." *Holds head confusedly*

I feel a strange sense of redundancy here....hmm.

"I know I don't make any sense. But when I remember how perfect they were together in the beginning of the novel...I just can't help myself...plus you know it's going to happen, I mean let's be realistic."

Hopefully by the time that rolls around I'll actually like her again. For now, she's still Butt Face.

Oh, and I did get to the part where she begs Prince Humperdinck to let her go be with Westley.

Sudden change of heart, eh Butter Biscuit? I bet it was all those scawy drweams you was having, huh? Twoo many people hating you in your drweams for dwumping Wes Wes?

She couldn't handle the hatred!!!! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Well..she can't.  

You made your royal bed, Butter Face- now lay in it! 

Goldman better make her likable again. Or else I will pull a Silver Tongue (Google it), find her, release my pet R.O.U.S. named Rufus upon her, find Westley, and marry him.

Google: Rufus the naked mole rat. 

Call me, beep me, if ya wanna reach me!

But yes, William Goldman is one of my favorite people. I love the book so far, I love his 'commentaries,' and his insight on life that he incorporates into the novel. Heck, I'll even say it: He's totally awesome!

I hope he doesn't mind that I hate Buttercup. I hope he understands why I don't like her....

Hate scale: Hate Very Much

Hmm...it's simmered (Awkward word- 20 points) down a bit....

Anyway, those are my thoughts on Buttercup. Another Butter Blog. Maybe you love this blog, maybe you hate it- or maybe you just love me =) *Blushes* 

I hate to break it to you...but there's just no easy way to say this...It's me, not you...the feeling is just not mutual....

Just kidding!

The feeling is so mutual that Facebook wants me to friend request you.

But I won't because I learned to not affiliate myself with strangers.

Score: 195 points

Signing out of this blog like yeah-

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.