Reasons For Why I Am Single

You know what sucks? 


Being single. Being single!


Yes, I said it twice for emphasis. EMPHASIS! 


Anywho.


Yep, I've been single my whole life. Can you believe it? Single for my ENTIRE LIFE.


Is this even normal? No, really. I think I may have a disease or a curse or "the ugly" as Patrick Star would put it. 


You don't understand though.  I have put a lot of thought into this.  And with that I have derived various reasons for why I have never had a boyfriend.  Let's tick them off.


1) I am writing a post on a blog about being single.


2) There is a bra in my sock drawer.


3) There is an empty bag of gummy bears in my room. Who eats a whole bag of gummy bears? Single people.


4) I still watch Disney movies


5) I get annoyed too easily with people


6) My eye twitches when I'm stressed


7) My left calf muscle has been spazing out for 20 min


8) I could use a shower right now....


9) I tell my dog all of my problems.


10) My room is hardly ever neat


11) This nail polish has been on my toes since October


12) I'm really devastated over the fact I will never be a Teen Titan


13) I'm just single and always will be. Let's face it, I'll be posting about my sad, sad life until my fingers grow cold.


14) That was depressing


15) Gouda cheese makes me too happy


16) I'm just asdjlajsdasl unable to explain how I feel most of the time. Yes, that random letter attack was intentional.


17) I'M JUST TOO WEIRD 


18) I like the word "just" way too much. And I use it too much. 


19) I despise couples. 


20) Some days, I love everyone. This is not one of those days.


21) My love life never will go the way I want it to


22) Oh wait - LOL - my bad, I don't have a love life.


23) What the eff is a love life anyway? Gosh.


24) I will be forever single


There you have it. A list of valid reasons for my singleness. Sigh. Huh, this was kinda depressing....I apologize. Happier posts will come again soon! I promise.


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out

Some College Advice.

Hey all, I know I have been lazy with posting, and I sincerely apologize for that.  Have no fear, because, yes, I am still alive and well. It's just been a bit hectic.  Why? Because of COLLEGE!


So since I have survived my first semester at college and have acquired more knowledge then you peppy, moody, angsty high school students (if you are out of college, then whatever) I shall bestow some wise words on your behalf.  


You see, you may love high school now, but guess what? Your years at that rat hole will fly by!  Excuse me for using not-so-nice terms when referring to hell school - I mean, high school, because I happened to have an icky experience there, but that's what happens when you are forced to go to a practically all white, snotty Catholic school run by Mussolini reincarnated. 


Anywho, if you hate high school then college is like.....13192309139812102931209831023809 times better.  If you love high school and you never want to leave, it'll be a hit or miss.  It depends.


Alright, let's cut the small talk and get to my golden advice.


Numero Uno: Yes, there is a dining hall open for you at almost all hours of the day and yes it does contain an ice cream bar (complete with a soft serve machine!), but YOU WILL NOT DIVE OFF THE DEEP END AND DROWN IN ITS CREAMY CALORIE-NESS. The freshman 15 does exist and it's a horrific monster that looms at every ice cream and pizza bar at college. Just watch yourself, and if those jeans start to feel tight around the hips, that's your warning sign. Don't ignore it. Or you'll end up like that lady who is trying to reach 1000 pounds and has her boyfriend feed her donuts as he Irish dances on her rolls of fat (Google her).


Moving on. This next one is for girls.


2) You will probably go to a party even if you hate parties. If you have fun or not, that's up for you to decide. But that guy who is going to hit on you is a player.  Trust me. And he does not care about your little dreams about falling in love at college or whatever, okay? He just wants to score with you so he can brag about it to all of his stupid weasels (or friends, same thing) and then he will most likely hurt you.  This happens 99.9% of the time.  That .1% is somewhere in a Disney movie.


This next one is for guys.


Tres- Guys don't be jerks.  If you want to be a smart ass and play girls like they are vinyl records or something (yeah, no one uses records anymore, I know. How about play them like a pan flute?), then you will end up fat, alone, and sad.  Bottom line, be nice and respectful.  Or else no one will like you, not even yourself.


D) Focus on your schoolwork! Do it.  There will be plenty of activities to attend, trust me.  So get cracking on your workload and try to be the best student you can be.  College actually matters.


Fifth: Haha another tip, DON'T wear your lanyard around campus, okay? That's basically wearing a sign with bold letters that says, "I'M A FRESHMAN."


6) The upperclassman are in no way intimidating. They are actually really nice, normal people. So come out of your little turtle shell and don't be afraid to ask where a certain building is or which professor is good/bad.


Numero Seis- Try the gym every once in awhile! You need exercise.


Eight: You will never get a decent amount of sleep again.  Except when you go back home for breaks.  And when you go home, you'll really appreciate it.  What you'll want to do is bring your favorite pillow and blanket from home, so that you will be comfortable when you finally get some shut eye.  Also, invest in an egg crate.  It'll save your back.


I) Be friendly to everyone, because this is no longer high school and people are actually nice and a little more mature now so you don't want to come off as hostile.  You do want to make friends, right?


X) Get a job on campus! You're going to run out of cash sooooooooo fast.  You don't want to pull from your savings account, so earn a little side cash.


329801) Bring lots of clothing with you as well as lots of storage containers. Your closet will be pitiful and those dresser drawers are shallow.


T) Be neat. Life can get hectic, but try to keep your things organized or else you'll be scrambling to find that textbook and wind up late to class.


22) Make friends with the food servers in the dining hall! 


23) It's your first semester and everything is new and exciting! Go and have fun!


Alright. I think I'm finished with this post. I hope you all eat and digest my fruitful words.


Signing out of this post like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out