Hey guys!
Yeah, I know...it's been awhile.
More than awhile, really. Like weeks. Months.
Years.
Not really.
But close.
No....
Whatever.
Wow, I haven't written a post in a freaking LONG time!
Funny story: I was bopping around on the internet like I always do, until I witnessed the most horrific Facebook incident, that it honestly made me puke.
Ok, not puke, but it made me want to write a hate-filled, anger driven, post about how STUPID girls are/can be.
I threw my headphones on and thought "I'm writing a post about stupid girls! I don't even know what time it is because my phone is lost somewhere in my tidal wave of college crap from moving out (Yes, freshman year has ended and it freaking ROCKED)!"
Until I realized the time is always, unwaveringly located on my laptop. *Duh...
Well, after I decided that I was going to write this post about stupid girls, I decided that why stop at stupid girls? Let's talk about how stupid people can be in general!
On my mark, get set.....GOOO!
So first off, who in the right state of mind would create a photo album entitled "this is what you left behind" and post pictures of herself in front of some ugly curtain, biting her lip in the most awkward/non-modelesque way (hello? you're not a model)?
That's right! No one with stable mental health would do such a thing.
Next - why would you quote yourself in a status? Who are you? Ghandi? Did you fight for some cause that changed the course of the future?
Maybe you're fighting for Idiot Rights.
I don't know.
But unless you're Oprah, George Washington, or the Mean Girl's script - you should NOT be quoting yourself.
Moving on... - boys!
Boys- unless you are gay, stop acting gay.
Taking millions of pictures of yourselves before you go out on a Friday night to get drunk is not masculine in the least bit.
Posting the pictures on Facebook is an even bigger N-O.
Bringing the camera out with you....that's even gayer than Richard Simmons teaching a spinning class....
Listen, even I, a girl - a fully functioning female who loves all those girly things - won't bring a camera out with her on a Friday night. It's weird.
Really....what do you do? Get the bouncer of the club to hold your lipstick as you search through your purse to find your camera so you and your 'buddies' can get a decent group shot?
Ew.
No. Just stop....existing.
Just kidding.
Continue to exist.
But don't bring your camera with you to document your existence. You're a guy. Go throw a football or scratch those places where the sun don't shine. Do anything, please, but take pictures of yourself..... Please.
Which brings me to the topic of the classic mirror/phone in face default picture on Facebook.
You know what? No, I can't even bring myself to talk about that topic.
All I'll say is, I'm assuming people are liking your profile picture because they can't see your face behind your huge-ass smartphone with the blinding flash that is reflecting off of the mirror surface.
Great shot of you. Really - never looked better!
Anywho, this is fun! I'm letting off some steam here. Wow, I feel like a teapot.
Just letting out all of that steam. It's like a sauna.
Mmmm. Clean pores.
Next topic!
I absolutely hate being second best all of the time.
Honestly, though, if you knew my life - hahahaha
It's a joke.
A funny one, I'll give it that. I mean, even I laugh at it - ha ha ha!
Ew...I sound crazy. No more crazy laughing through a post.
Seriously though.
People need to stop coming to me, acting like their world is coming to a tragic end because of stupid crap, making me feel like I'm actually making them feel better, which makes me feel like I'm an awesome friend, only to find out that - hey! you're doing a whole lot better the next day! And wow. You're best friends with the person you were venting to me about - about how miserable she was making you feel. And now, I'm sitting here, alone, like an idiot.
Please - maybe next time you can bring a check considering I'm practically only a therapist to you and NOT a friend. Psh, it's okay - I need the money anyway.
To buy myself a truck. A big truck!
Topic switch!
I want a truck so badly. How hot would that be? Carting my girly ass all around town in a huge, awesome truck?
It would be beyond awesome, okay? It would be...a word that I can't think of now because I am too exhausted.
Also, another topic change - why can't guys just like the girls that like them?
See, I like this guy, and I am 100% positive that no girl likes him as much as I do - so why can't I win? Why can't the person the other person likes the most just like that person back?
Ugh, that was confusing.
Why does Spotify have ads?
Why can't he just seeeeee
Why can't I just say "Yo! You. I like you."
And why can't he be like, "Hey, I heard you were a wild oneeeeeeee!"
Why can't we sing a duet to "Don't Mess With My Man?"
Why am I still typing ridiculous things.....
Why am I listening to oldies right now?
I like the oldies that's why...
Why do I keep asking questions?
Ugh, it's like my philosophy class all over again.
THAT was a nightmare.
And I don't give a damn about my reputationnnnnn.
Why do I have a Twitter account? I hate Twitter.
Why am I still awake....
I need to be up by 7 am.
Happy Eve of Mother's Day!
Okay...that's enough.
May we all have sweet dreams about extremely hot baseball players.
Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.
Yeah, I know...it's been awhile.
More than awhile, really. Like weeks. Months.
Years.
Not really.
But close.
No....
Whatever.
Wow, I haven't written a post in a freaking LONG time!
Funny story: I was bopping around on the internet like I always do, until I witnessed the most horrific Facebook incident, that it honestly made me puke.
Ok, not puke, but it made me want to write a hate-filled, anger driven, post about how STUPID girls are/can be.
I threw my headphones on and thought "I'm writing a post about stupid girls! I don't even know what time it is because my phone is lost somewhere in my tidal wave of college crap from moving out (Yes, freshman year has ended and it freaking ROCKED)!"
Until I realized the time is always, unwaveringly located on my laptop. *Duh...
Well, after I decided that I was going to write this post about stupid girls, I decided that why stop at stupid girls? Let's talk about how stupid people can be in general!
On my mark, get set.....GOOO!
So first off, who in the right state of mind would create a photo album entitled "this is what you left behind" and post pictures of herself in front of some ugly curtain, biting her lip in the most awkward/non-modelesque way (hello? you're not a model)?
That's right! No one with stable mental health would do such a thing.
Next - why would you quote yourself in a status? Who are you? Ghandi? Did you fight for some cause that changed the course of the future?
Maybe you're fighting for Idiot Rights.
I don't know.
But unless you're Oprah, George Washington, or the Mean Girl's script - you should NOT be quoting yourself.
Moving on... - boys!
Boys- unless you are gay, stop acting gay.
Taking millions of pictures of yourselves before you go out on a Friday night to get drunk is not masculine in the least bit.
Posting the pictures on Facebook is an even bigger N-O.
Bringing the camera out with you....that's even gayer than Richard Simmons teaching a spinning class....
Listen, even I, a girl - a fully functioning female who loves all those girly things - won't bring a camera out with her on a Friday night. It's weird.
Really....what do you do? Get the bouncer of the club to hold your lipstick as you search through your purse to find your camera so you and your 'buddies' can get a decent group shot?
Ew.
No. Just stop....existing.
Just kidding.
Continue to exist.
But don't bring your camera with you to document your existence. You're a guy. Go throw a football or scratch those places where the sun don't shine. Do anything, please, but take pictures of yourself..... Please.
Which brings me to the topic of the classic mirror/phone in face default picture on Facebook.
You know what? No, I can't even bring myself to talk about that topic.
All I'll say is, I'm assuming people are liking your profile picture because they can't see your face behind your huge-ass smartphone with the blinding flash that is reflecting off of the mirror surface.
Great shot of you. Really - never looked better!
Anywho, this is fun! I'm letting off some steam here. Wow, I feel like a teapot.
Just letting out all of that steam. It's like a sauna.
Mmmm. Clean pores.
Next topic!
I absolutely hate being second best all of the time.
Honestly, though, if you knew my life - hahahaha
It's a joke.
A funny one, I'll give it that. I mean, even I laugh at it - ha ha ha!
Ew...I sound crazy. No more crazy laughing through a post.
Seriously though.
People need to stop coming to me, acting like their world is coming to a tragic end because of stupid crap, making me feel like I'm actually making them feel better, which makes me feel like I'm an awesome friend, only to find out that - hey! you're doing a whole lot better the next day! And wow. You're best friends with the person you were venting to me about - about how miserable she was making you feel. And now, I'm sitting here, alone, like an idiot.
Please - maybe next time you can bring a check considering I'm practically only a therapist to you and NOT a friend. Psh, it's okay - I need the money anyway.
To buy myself a truck. A big truck!
Topic switch!
I want a truck so badly. How hot would that be? Carting my girly ass all around town in a huge, awesome truck?
It would be beyond awesome, okay? It would be...a word that I can't think of now because I am too exhausted.
Also, another topic change - why can't guys just like the girls that like them?
See, I like this guy, and I am 100% positive that no girl likes him as much as I do - so why can't I win? Why can't the person the other person likes the most just like that person back?
Ugh, that was confusing.
Why does Spotify have ads?
Why can't he just seeeeee
Why can't I just say "Yo! You. I like you."
And why can't he be like, "Hey, I heard you were a wild oneeeeeeee!"
Why can't we sing a duet to "Don't Mess With My Man?"
Why am I still typing ridiculous things.....
Why am I listening to oldies right now?
I like the oldies that's why...
Why do I keep asking questions?
Ugh, it's like my philosophy class all over again.
THAT was a nightmare.
And I don't give a damn about my reputationnnnnn.
Why do I have a Twitter account? I hate Twitter.
Why am I still awake....
I need to be up by 7 am.
Happy Eve of Mother's Day!
Okay...that's enough.
May we all have sweet dreams about extremely hot baseball players.
Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.
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