Boys and Other Atrocities Sent Upon Our Earth

* A post made months ago, so the below feelings are no longer harbored.

You know what sucks? Boys. Boys suck.  They really, really do.

Boys were sent upon our earth to reek havoc within our hearts, and all the while they don't even notice because they are too busy stuffing extra cheesy Doritos in their mouths while playing COD, or even worse carving pumpkins into penises then having the audacity to ask for your flashlight to light the damn thing up.

Yep.  And I still didn't get it back.

Moving on from that statement, I would like to say that even despite their awful, awful ways we still waste our time wondering if he's going to notice our stupid Facebook statuses quoted from silly little love songs or the fact that we straightened our hair so it's like a majestic golden waterfall flowing from our heads.

Nope.

So being "in like' with someone is not easy at all.  You see things were going well.  Then they went downhill.

"Aw, well, what happened?"

HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW. I mean, one second it's "Hey babe, I like you, you like me, we've got chemistry, now let's ride our way around the periodic table of L-O-V-E and let science do the rest."  

Then the next second it's "...." Oh I'm sorry, there's no example for the next second because well, there is no conversacion (yes, that was said in a Spanish accent), no action just the freaking WIND BLOWING THROUGH THE HOLE IN MY HEART.

Ok, see that was an exaggeration. 

Kind of.

I can do better though. I know I can do better, because let's be honest....

.......

......

Alright, so maybe I can't do better.  I mean, after all I am writing a blog about my petty problems.

I mean...this is a completely fictional blog about somebody else's problems, and I'm just the author reiterating the events in first person.

ANYWHO.

The whole situation, with guys and girls, and how we are all supposed to end up together at some point...yeah, I'm not seeing it.  Right now, I want to trip every guy I see. 

As for the other atrocities.

Let's talk about college.

Now, college is awesome, but I mean when I'm having to write an essay everyday I honestly think I should be getting paid my professor's salary since all my professor does is click a button for the powerpoint (the very bright powerpoint located in a dark little room with NO WINDOWS) to burn my corneas.  The least my professor could do is a little dance when she presses the button.

"Anddddddd for the next slide!" *Cha cha cha!*

Maybe even add some instrumentals. And some backup dancers. Preferably boy dancers with the gelled spiky hair and those poofy vests.  *Backstreet's back alright!*

Apparently this is asking too much.

Sigh.

And the cafeteria food here is getting...predictable. 

Day 1: Mmm mm mmm! Look at all this food! Fries, pasta, pizza, salad, and whatever the hell that is in the stew pot!

Day 2: Oh wow! Fries, pasta, pizza, salad, and stew pot stuff!

Day 3: Oh fries, pasta, pizza, salad, and that crap.

Day 4: Disgusting potatoes shredded with no salt, carbs, carbs, dying greenery, and WHAT THE HELL IS THIS.

Day 5: Starvation.



Well, this has been one heck of a blog!  I was able to release thoughts that have been stuck on my mind lately, and I feel good.

*And I'm feeling good! Dum. Dum. Dum. Duh Dum.*

Okay peace my brothas and sistas from other mothas and mistas.

Signing out of this blog like yeah~Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.  

Waffle Brain Syndrome

Sometimes being a super hero isn't easy.

Sometimes it's a pain in the ass.

Sometimes it's tiring.

Sometimes you want someone else to be a super hero.

I wouldn't mind it if you were my super hero for a day.

It could at least get me through the week.

You could pick me up.

I'd probably feel high for a good while.

I'm not in danger.

I just need some saving.

Do you know what I'm saying?

I'm saying that, eventually, I'll need saving from myself.

Because I can't do this on my own.

You know, I'm sick and tired of fighting crime.

When on the other hand, you could be there right by my side.

****************

Nah, the boy has WBS (Waffle Brain Sydrome) So cross that ^ idea off the list.

Let me describe what WBS is.  You take the "W" away and there's your answer.

It's seen in almost every guy.  See, girls can multitask.  I can go out have fun with my friends, get my homework done, and make time to see that guy I like.

Guy's Brain: Football or girl. I'll go with football.

                     Food or girl. Hm. Food.

                     Hey there's the girl I like! Let me go say h- FRIED CHICKEN?! *Goes to chicken

                     (And FINALLY) Oh there's that girl I like, let me go say hi! *Goes to girl

                     

Boys think in sections.  Hence the name "Waffle Brain Syndrome".  Waffles have sections.  The butter and syrup are put into these sections, whereas with us pancakes (girls), all the condiments can chill happily in one big conglomeration of deliciocity.  

Boys are incapable of this and can only focus on one thing at a time.

So for all of you girls out there, that guy is not ignoring you.  He's just mentally impaired.

Unless you're some psycho freak who watches him when he sleeps and picks strands of his hair to perfect that clone experiment you've been testing for several months, then yes - yes he is ignoring you.  Even if your intentions are honest, he's probably putting campus security on speed dial and considering the bald look because of you.  

Well that's all I feel like saying. Time for a nap because fighting the monsters on campus today was pretty draining.

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Supahh Fastttt Updattee!

Hey peeps! So I found some old posts I made way back from my first semester of college.  For some reason, I had taken them down (probably because I felt silly/idiotic) but I read them over and realized, "Eh. They're a little stupid, but what the heck!" 


I'll post them in two seconds! Just make note that they are from awhile ago, and that I no longer hold the feelings described in the posts anymore.


*Also, some new posts are in the making! And by "in the making" I mean I'm thinking about them in my brainium hehe....almost all of my posts are written on the spot with little revision. 


Therefore, I'm sorry for the numerous grammatical air-errs. 


Small joke, small joke. (I know, I'm a loser)


Alright, peace brothers and sistas from other mothas and mistas.


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out

Just Some Random Thoughts

Hey guys!


Yeah, I know...it's been awhile.


More than awhile, really. Like weeks. Months. 


Years.


Not really.


But close.


No....


Whatever.


Wow, I haven't written a post in a freaking LONG time!  


Funny story: I was bopping around on the internet like I always do, until I witnessed the most horrific Facebook incident, that it honestly made me puke.


Ok, not puke, but it made me want to write a hate-filled, anger driven, post about how STUPID girls are/can be.


I threw my headphones on and thought "I'm writing a post about stupid girls! I don't even know what time it is because my phone is lost somewhere in my tidal wave of college crap from moving out (Yes, freshman year has ended and it freaking ROCKED)!"


 Until I realized the time is always, unwaveringly located on my laptop. *Duh...


Well, after I decided that I was going to write this post about stupid girls, I decided that why stop at stupid girls? Let's talk about how stupid people can be in general!


On my mark, get set.....GOOO!


So first off, who in the right state of mind would create a photo album entitled "this is what you left behind" and post pictures of herself in front of some ugly curtain, biting her lip in the most awkward/non-modelesque way (hello? you're not a model)?


That's right! No one with stable mental health would do such a thing. 


Next - why would you quote yourself in a status? Who are you? Ghandi? Did you fight for some cause that changed the course of the future?  


Maybe you're fighting for Idiot Rights. 


I don't know.


But unless you're Oprah, George Washington, or the Mean Girl's script - you should NOT be quoting yourself. 


Moving on... - boys!


Boys- unless you are gay, stop acting gay.


Taking millions of pictures of yourselves before you go out on a Friday night to get drunk is not masculine in the least bit.


Posting the pictures on Facebook is an even bigger N-O.


Bringing the camera out with you....that's even gayer than Richard Simmons teaching a spinning class....


Listen, even I, a girl - a fully functioning female who loves all those girly things - won't bring a camera out with her on a Friday night. It's weird.  


Really....what do you do? Get the bouncer of the club to hold your lipstick as you search through your purse to find your camera so you and your 'buddies' can get a decent group shot?


Ew.


No. Just stop....existing.


Just kidding. 


Continue to exist.


But don't bring your camera with you to document your existence.  You're a guy.  Go throw a football or scratch those places where the sun don't shine. Do anything, please, but take pictures of yourself..... Please.


Which brings me to the topic of the classic mirror/phone in face default picture on Facebook.


You know what? No, I can't even bring myself to talk about that topic.


All I'll say is, I'm assuming people are liking your profile picture because they can't see your face behind your huge-ass smartphone with the blinding flash that is reflecting off of the mirror surface.


Great shot of you. Really - never looked better!


Anywho, this is fun! I'm letting off some steam here.  Wow, I feel like a teapot.


Just letting out all of that steam.  It's like a sauna.  


Mmmm. Clean pores.


Next topic!


I absolutely hate being second best all of the time.


Honestly, though, if you knew my life - hahahaha 


It's a joke.


A funny one, I'll give it that.  I mean, even I laugh at it - ha ha ha!


Ew...I sound crazy. No more crazy laughing through a post.


Seriously though.  


People need to stop coming to me, acting like their world is coming to a tragic end because of stupid crap, making me feel like I'm actually making them feel better, which makes me feel like I'm an awesome friend, only to find out that - hey! you're doing a whole lot better the next day! And wow. You're best friends with the person you were venting to me about - about how miserable she was making you feel.  And now, I'm sitting here, alone, like an idiot.


Please - maybe next time you can bring a check considering I'm practically only a therapist to you and NOT a friend. Psh, it's okay - I need the money anyway.


To buy myself a truck.  A big truck!


Topic switch!


I want a truck so badly.  How hot would that be?  Carting my girly ass all around town in a huge, awesome truck?


It would be beyond awesome, okay?  It would be...a word that I can't think of now because I am too exhausted.


Also, another topic change - why can't guys just like the girls that like them?  


See, I like this guy, and I am 100% positive that no girl likes him as much as I do - so why can't I win?  Why can't the person the other person likes the most just like that person back?


Ugh, that was confusing.


Why does Spotify have ads?


Why can't he just seeeeee


Why can't I just say "Yo! You. I like you."


And why can't he be like, "Hey, I heard you were a wild oneeeeeeee!"


Why can't we sing a duet to "Don't Mess With My Man?"


Why am I still typing ridiculous things.....


Why am I listening to oldies right now?


I like the oldies that's why...


Why do I keep asking questions?


Ugh, it's like my philosophy class all over again.


THAT was a nightmare.


And I don't give a damn about my reputationnnnnn.


Why do I have a Twitter account? I hate Twitter.


Why am I still awake....


I need to be up by 7 am.


Happy Eve of Mother's Day!


Okay...that's enough.


May we all have sweet dreams about extremely hot baseball players.


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Just A Normal Post...

Let's see how normal this post can last.


So! I forgot to tell you I have a *new* laptop! Sheila is collecting dust somewhere...Huh....I wonder where she is collecting dust....


Anywho.


This one is named Leo!


Yay!


So yeah. That's all I had planned to say, but I guess I'll keep going for the sake of my BOREDOM.


Some people are so mean.  Am I right?


What is wrong with half of the world? Do we need to say rude, unnecessary things? And use such vulgar language?


NO! 


Here's a lesson: If you have a negative comment or a rude remark, then keep it to yourself.  


Now, knowing me, I have a closest full that's bursting at the hinges with mean criticisms I could spew at society. And do I?


Yes! I do!


But maybe it'd be better if I stopped. Like for example, I should stop calling the guy who I liked/like/whatever the hell I feel a dirty, rotten, heartless, rat-like, piggish, butt munching, stupid, ugly, charming, gay, beautiful, jerk. 


*Cough.


That's not quite nice....


Or another example: calling every annoying skank on Facebook (you know, the "like the pic, not the link" twit faces) an annoying skank.  Because they are probably insecure and need mental help.


I'm not very good at this. I'm sorry.


Nevermind this nonsense, topic change!


You know what I've been addicted to lately?


Twitter.


It's so cool because you can make it look pretty! 


I put an ocean wave as my background picture and and I have sea blues and greens as my font colors!  Also, I'm purposefully trying to have hardly any followers because I can tweet about whatever I want without people being offended or me worrying about what other people might think.  


There's too many people on Facebook for me. And it doesn't look as pretty and it's annoying compared to Twitter. Although, thinking of it, people piss me off on Twitter, too.  


I can't escape from the imbeciles. That's why I seclude myself more often than not.  I try to escape them, but they always find me.


Speaking of imbeciles.


Whose idea was it to take pitchforks and burn torches to run out every surrounding town's village idiot into my town?  


No, really.


Driving on my main road today was like being swept up in a horrible circus act with clowns zipping all around me in minivans and moving trucks.


YES. MOVING TRUCKS.


This big, dirty truck that I had been keeping my eye on for a long time (because I saw it stall in the middle of the road...YEAH KIND OF DANGEROUS) decides to pull out right in front of me.


And what is it with people talking on the cell phone?


HELLOOOO ANSWER THIS: WHY ARE YOU DRIVING 60 MPH WITH BOTH HANDS OFF THE FREAKING WHEEL? BECAUSE OMGSH DANNY TEXTED YOU AND YOU JUST HAVE TO TEXT BACK? Um, I don't think that's an excuse! It'll sound like a poor one when people try to explain your untimely croaking!


Enough of this.


Simply thinking of the main road I have to drive on everyday makes my right foot slam down on an invisible gas pedal.


No, no...I don't have road rage...


Not that much anyway.


Well, that's all I have in me for today. 


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out

Reasons For Why I Am Single

You know what sucks? 


Being single. Being single!


Yes, I said it twice for emphasis. EMPHASIS! 


Anywho.


Yep, I've been single my whole life. Can you believe it? Single for my ENTIRE LIFE.


Is this even normal? No, really. I think I may have a disease or a curse or "the ugly" as Patrick Star would put it. 


You don't understand though.  I have put a lot of thought into this.  And with that I have derived various reasons for why I have never had a boyfriend.  Let's tick them off.


1) I am writing a post on a blog about being single.


2) There is a bra in my sock drawer.


3) There is an empty bag of gummy bears in my room. Who eats a whole bag of gummy bears? Single people.


4) I still watch Disney movies


5) I get annoyed too easily with people


6) My eye twitches when I'm stressed


7) My left calf muscle has been spazing out for 20 min


8) I could use a shower right now....


9) I tell my dog all of my problems.


10) My room is hardly ever neat


11) This nail polish has been on my toes since October


12) I'm really devastated over the fact I will never be a Teen Titan


13) I'm just single and always will be. Let's face it, I'll be posting about my sad, sad life until my fingers grow cold.


14) That was depressing


15) Gouda cheese makes me too happy


16) I'm just asdjlajsdasl unable to explain how I feel most of the time. Yes, that random letter attack was intentional.


17) I'M JUST TOO WEIRD 


18) I like the word "just" way too much. And I use it too much. 


19) I despise couples. 


20) Some days, I love everyone. This is not one of those days.


21) My love life never will go the way I want it to


22) Oh wait - LOL - my bad, I don't have a love life.


23) What the eff is a love life anyway? Gosh.


24) I will be forever single


There you have it. A list of valid reasons for my singleness. Sigh. Huh, this was kinda depressing....I apologize. Happier posts will come again soon! I promise.


Signing out of this blog like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out

Some College Advice.

Hey all, I know I have been lazy with posting, and I sincerely apologize for that.  Have no fear, because, yes, I am still alive and well. It's just been a bit hectic.  Why? Because of COLLEGE!


So since I have survived my first semester at college and have acquired more knowledge then you peppy, moody, angsty high school students (if you are out of college, then whatever) I shall bestow some wise words on your behalf.  


You see, you may love high school now, but guess what? Your years at that rat hole will fly by!  Excuse me for using not-so-nice terms when referring to hell school - I mean, high school, because I happened to have an icky experience there, but that's what happens when you are forced to go to a practically all white, snotty Catholic school run by Mussolini reincarnated. 


Anywho, if you hate high school then college is like.....13192309139812102931209831023809 times better.  If you love high school and you never want to leave, it'll be a hit or miss.  It depends.


Alright, let's cut the small talk and get to my golden advice.


Numero Uno: Yes, there is a dining hall open for you at almost all hours of the day and yes it does contain an ice cream bar (complete with a soft serve machine!), but YOU WILL NOT DIVE OFF THE DEEP END AND DROWN IN ITS CREAMY CALORIE-NESS. The freshman 15 does exist and it's a horrific monster that looms at every ice cream and pizza bar at college. Just watch yourself, and if those jeans start to feel tight around the hips, that's your warning sign. Don't ignore it. Or you'll end up like that lady who is trying to reach 1000 pounds and has her boyfriend feed her donuts as he Irish dances on her rolls of fat (Google her).


Moving on. This next one is for girls.


2) You will probably go to a party even if you hate parties. If you have fun or not, that's up for you to decide. But that guy who is going to hit on you is a player.  Trust me. And he does not care about your little dreams about falling in love at college or whatever, okay? He just wants to score with you so he can brag about it to all of his stupid weasels (or friends, same thing) and then he will most likely hurt you.  This happens 99.9% of the time.  That .1% is somewhere in a Disney movie.


This next one is for guys.


Tres- Guys don't be jerks.  If you want to be a smart ass and play girls like they are vinyl records or something (yeah, no one uses records anymore, I know. How about play them like a pan flute?), then you will end up fat, alone, and sad.  Bottom line, be nice and respectful.  Or else no one will like you, not even yourself.


D) Focus on your schoolwork! Do it.  There will be plenty of activities to attend, trust me.  So get cracking on your workload and try to be the best student you can be.  College actually matters.


Fifth: Haha another tip, DON'T wear your lanyard around campus, okay? That's basically wearing a sign with bold letters that says, "I'M A FRESHMAN."


6) The upperclassman are in no way intimidating. They are actually really nice, normal people. So come out of your little turtle shell and don't be afraid to ask where a certain building is or which professor is good/bad.


Numero Seis- Try the gym every once in awhile! You need exercise.


Eight: You will never get a decent amount of sleep again.  Except when you go back home for breaks.  And when you go home, you'll really appreciate it.  What you'll want to do is bring your favorite pillow and blanket from home, so that you will be comfortable when you finally get some shut eye.  Also, invest in an egg crate.  It'll save your back.


I) Be friendly to everyone, because this is no longer high school and people are actually nice and a little more mature now so you don't want to come off as hostile.  You do want to make friends, right?


X) Get a job on campus! You're going to run out of cash sooooooooo fast.  You don't want to pull from your savings account, so earn a little side cash.


329801) Bring lots of clothing with you as well as lots of storage containers. Your closet will be pitiful and those dresser drawers are shallow.


T) Be neat. Life can get hectic, but try to keep your things organized or else you'll be scrambling to find that textbook and wind up late to class.


22) Make friends with the food servers in the dining hall! 


23) It's your first semester and everything is new and exciting! Go and have fun!


Alright. I think I'm finished with this post. I hope you all eat and digest my fruitful words.


Signing out of this post like yeah~
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out

Dying Would Be An Great Adventure Indeed

If I could die right now, I think I would.

I would bring you with me because I don't want to die alone-

To die alone would be a tragic end indeed.

I would want to die before you.

I would want to enter paradise confused

but then relax into joyous realization that you are right behind me smiling.

We would hug tightly then emerge into light.

Establishing how blind we were before this moment.

We would laugh,

saying how ironic it was, that we feared all those years

to lose our lives, when it really was the best thing that could have ever happened.

I would love you more than I ever have loved you, because my love would never die.

You would kiss me like forever laid at our feet, because for once, forever would be alive.

The people would not judge us – not of our age or color – because their efforts to do so would be in vain,

And vanity is nothing but a splinter when you already live in perfection.

We would taste the sky, the non-existence of air, and the beauty of each other's souls.

We would run and fall, but not get hurt.

It would be so surreal – looking back on our former existence and noticing that it was only a long road-

a road where we could meet, fall into one another and pass into our divine purpose.

We would die together, and live.

Yes, I think if death came to me,

I would greet it.

Baggage Claim

I am searching for baggage that goes with mine:
a suitcase that matches the rest of my junk,
mixed up and mangled and misshapen; 
a backpack to keep my lonely tote company;
anything at the ready to pack and flee with me
to scour the planet for adventurous lessons;
or a bag that can hold the weight of my belongings,
which happen to be very heavy at the moment.

Can you hold my world in your hands?
Can you make yourself last?
Will you fight to fall apart not?
Will you promise to at my side hang?

Life is messy and so am I – objects are sure to fly.
I need baggage to squeeze the fly-aways tight,
so that I might not lose these pieces of mine.
You will need to keep steadfast to me; 
I know it will be a perilous ride.
I assure you I will grasp your handle,
so long as you grasp mine.

Yes, I am looking for baggage that goes with mine:
some one who will travel by my side until we reach the world’s edge.

Hey Ya

Hello! I haven't written a post in awhile!  So what have I been up to? Let's see.

I think I am destined to work in a library for the rest of my life!  I went from doing trivial volunteer work at my High School library to doing research work in...MY NEW SCHOOL'S LIBRARY! Well, it's college really.  The excellent news?  I am paid!  Granted it's minimum wage, but hey! it's money.

Other than that I have finished some final High School duties, such as graduating.  *Cue happy music*

"Ohhhhhhh YEAH! SO LONG RAT HOLE! I WON'T BE MISSIN' YA!" *Happy dances*

Good stuff.  

Don't worry (because I know you were all SO worried about my whereabouts), I'll be writing posts again soon.  In the meantime, I must continue saving the world.  It's time consuming, but alas! there are sad and unfortunate civilians crying out my name... 

See ya.

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Starting Fresh!

And so far I want to crawl in a hole and weep.

Well readers, I've done the most tragic thing possible.  I'm starting over with my whole novel.  I've written four pages so far, and I HATE IT.  I'm so distressed right now.  I need some kind of inspiration because my imagination is lacking.

That's all.

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

 

Treading Such Deep Waters

If this plane is heading for certain demise,

I’ll turn the volume up to my favorite song

And sing along.

Let the volume swallow me in and spit me out,

Plane pieces flying about,

Hit the ocean floor and wash to shore,

Waking up with eyes wide open

And my mind cleared,

Holding my heart up high and proud,

Saying “I survived the worst!”

The world stopped and stared,

Shaking its head solemnly -

“Oh honey you have not seen a single thing.

Not one disaster has touched you,

Not a whirlpool of danger neared you-

the worst is yet to come.”

It decided to put my song on repeat -

an redundant fall into the ocean blue.

“At least you’ll have something to fall into,” it smiled,

“Others fall and never return,

but Darling, you learned about swimming,

and so you’ll swim, swim, swim.

You’ll never stop treading these waters

or singing your song

so let’s just sing along

and survive the worst.”

I nodded in consent

Held my breath,

And sang my melody for the entire ride.

I LOVE MY TEDDY BEAR!

My amigo, my partner in crime, my Valentine every Valentines Day, etc. 

No. Not a stuffed animal, although he resembles one! My dog, Teddy Bear. He's adorable. I introduced him to my blog with a lovely candid on the right....scroll down and see for yourself and let his cuteness make you rethink what the definition of cuteness really is! He wasn't too happy that I took that picture.... even after I tried convincing him that he is very photogenic!  Animals these days....

Anyways, I've been working on some poetry. And my story's outline as well.  Slowly but surely!

Always Running.

Mis.                              Communication.

Miss.                   You.

                                                                                       I'm

    i       ing

m   ss               chances.                                                 Too

f     a       r               away.

You  are

                      out

                            of

                                  r

                                    e

                                      a

                                         c

                                            h.

I'm  R- U- N- N- I- N- G                                                late. 

His Adventure

"His Adventure"

If you were about to drown

in a floating sea

of bright balloons,

I'd plan the perfect escape.

Through cotton candy clouds

I'd glide through

in my rainbow colored

hot air balloon.

I’d lasso your waist,

Swing you along,

skimming you across

stretched rubbery tops.

I’d lock you

in your sway; suspended

between air, sky, and

helium-filled disasters.

As we’d ride by,

I’d sob like rain

to drench you,

Whistle like wind

to dry you,

Smile like sunlight

to warm you.

Curse like lightning

to surprise you,

Yell like thunder

to stir you, and

Cold-shoulder you like snow

to muffle you.

The snow would then settle.

I’d stir within;

the quiet swallowing

both You and I down

its black-hole throat.

I’d never untie you,

but I’d sing like the birds

to remind you

that I’m not malevolent.

 I am saving you.

Return the favor,

you would have already.

Through every storm,

by hanging along.

And I’d never release you.

Because:

Adventure is your treasure.

My treasure is adventure.

I will dangle my pearls

from golden puppet strings

before your eyes,

the way I'd sway you

from my rainbow colored

hot air balloon.

Silsome Blupdates!

Hello and welcome to this silsome blupdate.  I thought I'd plop down and compose a post for- well I'd say for you, but since no one really reads this except my best friend, a few British people, and occasionally a Russian person it's mostly for myself.  Oh and for you random Google-ing people.  Hey, how's it going?


This blupdate is to inform the internet world that as of yesterday evening, I have finished the Hunger Games trilogy.  I cried my eyes out the whole time.  In my opinion, Collins killed off way too many people, to the point where it was sickening and made my head spin.  Yet, I still loved the book.  I feel like it had its ups and downs though.  If it ran through one more course of editing, then it would be perfect.  Some things just did not seem to flow as well as the rest of the books.  Maybe she was on a limited amount of time for this last book, because the ending seemed incredibly rushed.  I felt like I sprinted with every character in my arms, flung them over the edge of a cliff, and then simply strolled away as if nothing happened.  But whatever.  I'm a 17 year old aspiring published writer who does not know about publishing or professional writing (if there is such a term) at all.

NEW LAPTOP! That's right!  I have a new laptop named Sheila and she's much more capable of handling things, such as turning on and off and not freezing up on me.  Say hi, Sheila!

...

Can't blame her.  She's shy.

Next.  Still working on my story.  It's been going dreadfully.  No real progress, so I'm outlining the whole thing so I know exactly where I'm going with it.  In fact, as I write about how dreadful it is, I feel the urge to fix a few things in it.  Which I will do now...oh but I have homework later....maybe I'll take a nap.  Choices, choices....Darn indecisiveness!!!!


Oh, as for the title of this blog, look up "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll.  That should clear things up or make everything all the more confusing.

Signing out of this blog like yeah-
Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.

Cafeteria CHAOS. That Jello is NOT Mellow....

Let's see where I left off with in the mission of destroying my APUSH teacher....

*Shimmery glimmery fade to THE CAFETERIA*

I walk into the medium-sized cafeteria with Howling Meercat by my side and Mushu, my dragon, on my shoulder hissing at every inanimate object.

"Why do you keep hissing at inanimate objects, shoe-mouse?!" I yell in utter frustration.

"Hisssssss.....because I sense DANGER YO! Hisssssssss.....Are we not trying to find that crazy old teacher's soul or not?!" He exclaims while pulling on my ear lobe.

Hm. He has a point.  Perhaps he'll be able to scare the soul straight from the inanimate object by hissing....but then again his intimidation level is like....'level not scary.'

"Fine, whatever. And stop pulling on my lobe!"  We walk down a row of empty tables, the remains of last period's lunch still present.  I pick up a string cheese wrapper, give it a sniff, then place it back on the table.

"What is it?" Howling Meercat asks, noting the puzzling look on my face.

"Nothing. It's just strange how some people do not throw away trash." I glance down at my watch, wanting to be conscious of the time.  12:09:35.

25 more seconds. My heart is pounding. 25 MORE SECONDS!!!!

"Guys hurry up!" I screech. "We need to move." I am half way to the destination I must reach when it happens.

The bell rings.

RINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

The sound is like a gentle stream at first.  Tranquil.  Then it sounds like when you turn on the water to your bathtub.  Rushing....but not so desperate- calming almost.  Suddenly, the sound is like a fierce waterfall, and I find I'm joining in on the percussion of rapid beats.  I'm sprinting down the length of the cafeteria, with the power of the crowd right behind me.  I blink my eyes, and when I open them, hands are all around me, reaching, pulling, snatching....

"LET GO!" I demand through clenched teeth.  I tug away with all my strength and AHA!

I fly backwards with a cup of green jello in my hands!   The last one, too! Hoo-rah. 

In your face pesky freshman! I go to the front of the line and pay 50 cents for the delectable gelatin.  Now, where are my accomplices?  I am about to go searching for them when I hear someone snickering behind me.

"Snicker...snicker...."  I whirl around and face......IT. My heart drops down into my stomach so hard I feel like I'm about to fall to the ground.  I can't appear this way - I must look composed.

"Hello, I see you're purchasing today's gelatin as well!" I say charitably, trying not to say "and you could readily do without it!" Instead, I mention, "The crowd was quite relentless, was it not?"

"I see what you're trying to do," She, my dreaded APUSH teacher, hisses. "Why yes, I do agree the crowd was relentless. Especially myself...." She laughs and hands the lunch lady 60 cents. "You can keep the change, you filthy animal."  She waddles off and I notice she doesn't take a spoon with her. Odd.

"I'll take that," I say to the lunch lady as I grab the 10 cents and hurry after the monster with jello.  I keep a good five feet behind her, so if she turns around to see if anyone is following her I can easily hide myself behind the bulk of her body.  I am trailing after her out of the cafeteria, and this is when I know that something very strange is occurring....why are we leaving?  I wonder if I should run back to find my partners, but I figure that at the moment this is more crucial.  I only hope that they do not worry where I am.

*Flash to where accomplices are*

"Woohoo!!! Go Mushu! Go Mushu!" *Mushu chugs jello as Howling Meercat cheers*

*Flash back to following APUSH teacher*

I continue to follow until she is in her room.  I watch her go inside, then shut the door.  I don't want to go with her for she would surely notice my presence if I did.  I peer through the vertical window and see the horror within.

She puts the jello on the table but does not eat it.  No, she in fact observes it for a moment, then stuffs it into a suitcase.  AHA! I can't help myself now, this may be my only chance.

I burst through the door and yell, "I've got you now, you beast!"  She falls over in surprise, and I do not wait for her to struggle to get back up.  "Alohomora!"  The suitcase flies open and I lunge for the jello.  I hold it in my hands shakily, not sure what the spirit within will try to do to me.  Before I think of it too long, I rip out my wand.  "My wand's name is Dave send this jello-soul to its grave!"

The jello melts, and I laugh out of shock/happiness.  "That was pretty easy!"

"Fool!" Uh-oh. She has arisen amongst her rolls of fat, her tiny head peering over the mound of her body.  Her eyes glow red as she tremors,  "That was my jello and not my soul! Now, I will not have an evening snack! You shall feel my wrath!"  Good thing she put on a few pounds or else she would've grabbed me by the neck before I had a chance to jump out the window on the right.  And, yes. I jumped out the window in full realization that I was completely wrong about the jello.  The whole way down that's all I thought about.

"I was wrong....wrong, wrong, wrong..."  I land in a crab apple tree, then slide down quickly.  I need to find my gang to warn them of my terrible mistake.  I burst through the doors of the cafeteria and see that it is again deserted, except for two figures at the very end.  My friends!  I run and start shouting about what has happened but then slowly come to a stop to see that Howling Meercat is tied and gagged. 

And Mushu is tying the final knot around her feet.

"Oh, are we playing Cops and Robbers? I thought that was every Saturday night-"

"Foooooollll!!!" Mushu leaps onto Meercat's lap and shouts at me. "This is not Cops and Robbers!"

"Oh, is it- well I can't think of another game this would be...," I say completely puzzled.

"It is no game!!!!! You are to perish! See I have tied your friend up to throw her into the oven! And you shall be next!!!"  Before I can make another attempt at guessing what game we are playing, he lunges at my face.  

"Oww! Hey-muff-oof-Get off my face!!!" I manage to throw him off and while he falls to the ground I see a peculiar sight....

An empty, smoking jello cup on the table.

"Mushu! Did you eat that jello?!" 

"Of course I did! It's irresistible! Now, time to bake in the oven, girl!"  He again leaps at me, but I kick him across the floor. 

"No!!! Mushu! That jello contained the soul of my APUSH teacher!"  I think back to when he ate the crab-apple...why didn't he turn evil then?  I help Meercat and ask what is going on.

"I think it's the accumulation of evil...See he ate the crab-apple which made him 40% evil, now he's eaten the jello, too, so that's another 40%.  He's now 80% evil!!!" Howling Meercat yells over Mushu's loud hissing.

"So that means..."  We both don't want to say it, but we know it's true.  Mushu will have to be destroyed.

I decide that I must not think too long about it, so I rush over and grab him by the tail.  He wriggles helplessly the whole time and, with tears in my eyes, I toss him into the kitchen's oven.

I sit down with Howling Meercat and explain the whole situation about our APUSH teacher.

"I think she knew that Mushu bought her jello.  She wanted him to eat it and become...like her.  So, to distract me, she bought a different jello.  One to lure me out of the cafeteria while the transformation would take place. Sadly, it worked....poor Mushu."

Howling Meercat stares down at her feet. "Poor, poor Mushu. I suppose we should leave now.  Finish this mission as soon as possible.  Where to next?"

For once, I don't have a clue.

"I don't have a clue."

END.

     

Well, that was slightly depressing! Don't worry it will get better. The APUSH teacher must be destroyed no matter what!

Signing out of this blog like yeah~

Gwen the Super Hero, over and out.